Saturday, December 27, 2008


An extraordinary flickr feed of photos in opposition to Proposition 8, the anti-gay marriage measure that passed in California.

It's heartbreaking, sad and funny and awful and hopeful.

I cannot believe we are actually still talking about this. This doesn't affect me in any way, other than the fact that I don't want to live in a country that does this to people.

I challenge anyone to view it and still believe that gay marriage should be banned.

Nothing Says Christmas... hauling bodies out of a pile of rubble.

In a childish way, I am just sick of Israel. Sick of Palestine. Sick of Hamas. Sick of this story, which hasn't stopped since practically I learned to read, and apparently, is never going to stop. Just keep killing people until everyone's dead, guys. That will solve it.

This is one of those conflicts where everyone's right. Israel deserves a homeland after the Holocaust. The Palestinians didn't deserve to get thrown out of their houses because of some lines white guys drew on a map. We've put people into outer space, and we can't solve the ancient problem of two kids who want one cookie?

You know that scene in an alien movie where the aliens express contempt for humans? This is one of the reasons why they do that.

Why My Life Is Like A Sitcom

(INTERIOR: Cluttered house, dusk. Elegant, pretty WIFE approaches disheveled HUSBAND.)

HUSBAND: I ordered pizza. Penn Pizza Palace. Because they're alliterative.

WIFE: (frowns silently, contemplating whether or not "stupidity" is adequate grounds for divorce.)

HUSBAND: And they make Sicilian. (pause) I wouldn't order food based on alliteration. That would be silly.

WIFE: You'd have to go to the Dolphin Diner. And order Salisbury Steak.

HUSBAND: (thinks) With French Fries. And Chocolate Cake.

WIFE: That sounds pretty good!

(End scene.)

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Calvin and Hobbes: Prophets

(Thanks to

Merry Whatever You Call It

Mark Teixeira is going to be a Yankee, and I'm still not happy about it.

I know its peevish and childish to be unhappy on Christmas Day. There is this enormous weight of expectation in our culture that we not only have a Merry Christmas, but the MERRIEST Christmas. Katie Couric said so, after all. And there really isn't anything wrong. Except the Teixeira thing. F&*king Yankees.

The Teixeira thing does lend some spice to the rivalry, though, as if it needed more sauce. Beating them is going to be extra sweet, because they are SO loaded, and losing them is going to feel like an extra strength "kick in the goonies", as Mike Myers used to say in the old Saturday Night Live sketch with Patrick Stewart. But I digress.

Christmas was fine. My nephew and bosom buddy Simon was over, and he was. predictably, a little touchy as he seems to be fighting a bit of a cold. He was also being pushed beyond his bedtime comfort zone, so that made for a few meltdowns. His parents handle him brilliantly, though, much better than I did at the same age, and, once the gift wrap started flying, he got in the zone.

He got mostly Thomas the Tank Engine stuff, which seemed to delight him no end. He gets another Christmas today, at his other grandparents' house, so I can hardly imagine how happy he must be today. Undoubtedly more Thomas stuff, and more attention, and more, more, more.

My own son, 'Ol Whatshisname, (kidding!) made out fairly well too. He's more into the Christmas spirit of getting than that of giving, but he showed admirable restraint in waiting for Simon to start the gift process.

Other than watching the kids, that was pretty much it. The rest of the time has been spent finishing the James Bond novels I got from the library ("On Her Majesty's Secret Service", "You Only Live Twice", and "The Man With The Golden Gun".) I haven't read them in probably 20 or so years. They aren't quite as good as I remember.

The books are lurid in their descriptions of violence and the damage to Bond's body and psyche. Fleming is a racist, even by the standards of his time, but if you can overlook that stuff, they aren't bad. I don't think I'm going to read any more, though.

I started a paperback I think I borrowed from my father's collection-a Star Trek collection of novellas about the engineers-LaForge, Scotty, etc. It's not bad. When I get back to the library, I may check out a few more. I haven't read any Star Trek books in a long while, either.


As Dr. Denis Leary used to put it, Merry F&*king Christmas.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Factually Correct Five

Five things, in honor of Matthew Berry of, that are factually correct:

1. You really need to stop dickering at the grocery store. It is the price that it is. Arguing with the vacant teenager or addled senior that is ringing your groceries is not going to give you a 10% discount. If you really think it's wrong, don't buy it, or take it to the customer service desk. Don't argue with someone who doesn't know and doesn't, frankly, care.

2. Pantomiming different ways I am going to kill myself (shooting myself, strangling myself, setting myself on fire, hanging myself) while the aforementioned customer dickered and I looked away from them and at my wife, who was shaking with silent laughter, is funny.

3. It's friggin' cold.

4. Christmas is both going to be more and less than I expect.

5. At least five times tomorrow, someone is going to ask me, "Are you open?"

Thanks for nothing, Claus!

According to numerous sources,
{ slugging first baseman Mark Teixeira has agreed to sign with....wait for it....The New York Flippin' Yankees.

Yeah, the Yankees.

The Freaking Yankees.

Bah, humbug.

Monday, December 22, 2008

On Again, Off Again

The On Again, Off Again Mark Teixeira talks appear to be somewhat on again. According to ESPN's Buster Olney, Boston still has the best deal. According to Teixeira, he wants to be done by Christmas. Christmas is Thursday.

So it shall be written, so it shall be done...

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Well, this is cheery...

"The search for efficiency and the urge to consume has set us all up like a row of dominoes - there is no buffer, no resiliency. As one problem rises it causes another. As one solution is tried it drives another problem. We all pull back and the consumer economy stalls. The auto industry and credit firms feeds the media (40% of conventional advertising). Papers and TV and Radio networks, many subject to LBO's will have to fail as per the Tribune. Every sector will be laying people off. Sales of all things fall off a cliff - driving more business failures and layoffs. Cities and states that depend on sales tax and property tax and the credit markets can rely on none of these. So they too will have to lay off millions - thus making all the problems worse. National governments will be asked to save us all and of course cannot. As States and Cities get squeezed and cannot borrow, they will too lay off millions - teachers, firemen police. No one will be safe."

-Consultant Robert Paterson