Saturday, June 20, 2009

Game Sixty Eight:: Ladies And Gentlemen, Commander Kicka$$

At Fenway tonight, Josh Beckett showed his Josh Beckettness, Josh Becketting the Atlanta Braves on 5 lonely hits in a complete game shutout. He Josh Becketted them on only 94 pitches. Timmeh takes the hill against young Mr. Jair Jurrjens in the series finale tomorrow.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Game 67: The Cavalcade of Fail

Our friend Dice W got shelled, giving up 8 hits and 4 walks to the Bravos, helping to power a 8-2 loss at Fenway.


No Giveaways

Funny moment at the bank today.

I needed a $50.00 bill to put in a card, so I went into my bank and saw the teller. When she signaled for me to come forward, I stepped forward and said, “I have a real easy one for you. I just need a $50.00 bill.”

I then stared at her. She stared back. I don’t know what I was thinking, exactly, but I hadn’t handed her any money yet, so that’s obviously what she was waiting for.

Finally, I realized what the standoff was. “Oh, you’re not just giving them away?,” I asked, to general laughter.


Guess what game my wife and I were playing last night?

Not that, Katie. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Modeled after Monty Python’s “Word Association Football”, along with the infamous Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, it involves starting with any object or name, then connecting them with another, no matter how tenuous or obscure the association. Unfortunately, you have to either quit playing, or agree on a common stopping point (We’ll stop when we get to “maple syrup” ), because the fiendish glee of this game is that you can literally play it forever.

For example-an extremely abbreviated version connecting maple syrup with Paris Hilton:

Maple syrup (product of Canada)
Mike Myers (another product of Canada)
“Dirty Hoe” (joke from Myers’ “The Cat In The Hat”)
Paris Hilton (duh)

In case you were wondering whether or not this was a naked attempt to steal eyeballs for people who are Googling “Paris Hilton”, this is not a wholly naked attempt to do that, no.

Now I’ve got people who search for “Paris Hilton naked”, too.


1.Increase blog traffic

(h/t South Park and the Underpants Gnomes)

By the way, if you have to ask yourself whether or not you are in the way, you probably are.


WBR-the lovely podcast from Rob and Eric that features pop culture, music, and your mom-is still worth your time. Check out


Dan Carlin had a chilling Hardcore History I listened to yesterday while walking with my son-more material on the Russian/German battles during World War II. He is also well worth your time, and 100% free, at


Get Your Kicks With Game 66

The Red Sox filled their buckets with Fail tonight, managing one lonely hit in a rain shortened 5 inning 2-1 loss at Fenway Park tonight. Serving dinner at the Hard Luck Cafe was Jon Lester, who allowed only two runs but got hung with the L.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Possibly the least interesting blog post ever...

Quantum weirdness today.


I misplaced my cell phone. After finding it today, it quickly ran out of power, so it is DOA until I can get to a charger. It’s not a big loss-of the 50 calls I might get each month, 48 of them are ones I don’t want to take.

What I am finding is the feeling of being unreachable is a little bit liberating. I used to work for a boss, in the pre cell phone era (yes, there was one!), who would leave a voice mail message every morning detailing where he would be during the day so that you could reach him. Some days, he would just say, “I will be unavailable all day.” I used to marvel at that. To be unavailable-unreachable-unfindable! What a life. Like engaging a personal cloaking device.

Adam Carolla was discussing on one of his podcasts about movies where an uptight character becomes involved with a more loosey goosey character, and the loosey goosey character will throw the other character’s briefcase or cell phone into the lake. You could throw my cell phone into the lake, and I wouldn’t even notice.

I’m starting to seriously consider just getting a pay per use phone, and to heck with it all. However, similar to my bank, I have so many people who know this as my number that to switch would be a pain in the neck.


The opening story on “This American Life” was about kids confronting their parents about injustices from childhood. Maybe I’m just getting old, but it made me really angry. I don’t feel like kids have that right.


Cute T shirt slogan I saw: “Are you Jewish? Because You Israeli Hot.”


Waiting for my car's oil to be changed, early the morning after. The morning after what I wrote last night, which is what I wrote above. Clearly, timing is everything, as they say at the fertility clinic. As we all know, it has to be the morning after.

By the by-Hyundai of North America-Would free wi fi in your waiting room kill you? Seriously?

Listening to Jimmy Pardo's “Never Not Funny”, which is, as always, incomparably good. Well worth the 77 cents per week, although there is something strange about paying for a podcast, as great as it is.

Lots of issues boiling just below the surface for me today, I've had about enough of a couple of different people in my life, and I just can't afford the risk of blogging about it. Perhaps I should go anonymous, like my good friend Otherwise Optimistic. Sigh. Mumble mumble mumble.


You know what? I know you're tired. I'm tired too. The difference is, nobody cares about the fact that I'm tired.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Game Sixty Five: Stayin' Alive!

The redoubtable Brad "Can I get my security deposit back?" Penny won his 100th career game, and Jacoby Ellsbury and David Ortiz whacked the 'ol pelota all over the yard to power Boston's 6-1 victory at Fenway Park tonight.

You stay classy, Ramsey!

Stay classy, Gordon Ramsey. Stay classy.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Game (When I'm) Sixty Four

David Ortiz pulled a classic, circa 2004 long home run into the seats behind the bullpen to power a 6 run fourth in a 8-2 win over the Marlins at Fenway Park tonight. Timmeh Wakefield took down the win, with support from Metropolitan District Commission, Sensei Saito, and Danny Ocean.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Support the Iranians

Support the revolution in Iran. Take this and spread it around.

(Via Andrew Sullivan


Thanks to clever, saucy Tia, we have today's Meme-iShame-TEN SONGS ON MY IPOD THAT I'M NOT PARTICULARLY PROUD OF

1. Raffi, "Bananaphone" - My son thankfully dodged the Raffi virus, but I heard this song and it's quirky sense of humor on a Youtube video my son was watching, and fell in love with it.

2. Billy Joel, "All You Wanna Do Is Dance" - I love Billy Joel. LOVE Billy Joel. But a few of his songs are L-A-M-E. This is one.

3. The Eagles, "Frail Grasp of the Big Picture" - While I love the Eagles, their most recent album was a real disappointment. I could have lived without it.

4. Tone Loc, "Funky Cold Medina" - Yeah. Funky Cold Medina. He was popular for about 4 1/2 minutes, but I loved it.

5. Shakira, "Hips Don't Lie" - Not my kind of music, but she's got a point.

6. Wilson Phillips, "Daniel" - My wife will never let me forget that I actually used American money to pay for Wilson Phillips' first album. This is not from that album, but from the "Two Rooms" tribute. It's the only WP I have left.

7. Pavement, "Jackals, False Grails: The Lonesome Era" - It was on sale, OK?

8. Jimmy Buffett, "Jolly Mon Sing" - Maybe it makes more sense if you're drunk. Love Buffett, but this song is stupid.

9. Velvet Revolver, "Just Sixteen" - Another victim of the Fruitcake Corollary, first posited by Professor Jim Gaffigan: How can individual things that rule create something that sucks?

10. Rush, "La Villa Strangiato" - Groups really need to stop with the instrumentals.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Game Sixty Three: Best thing about today is, we dont play tomorrow.

The Red Sox, about 12 minutes after finishing Saturday's rain delayed slugfest, played another contest against the defending World Champion Philadelphia Phillies. And by "contest", I'm misspelling the word "beatdown", as the Phillies used 4 runs in the fifth off of Bizarro World Josh Beckett, and 6 more in the seventh off of Beckett and Danny Ocean to seal up an 11-6 loss. Boston has a richly deserved day off tomorrow before welcoming the Marlins into Fenway on Tuesday.

Game 62: Slinging In The Rain

Dice K took the hill yesterday against the Phillies, battling both the weather and the tiny dimensions of Citizens Bank Park. Facing the marvelously named Antonio Bastardo (aka Tony Bastard), Dice K struggled, going only 4 innings, albeit having to endure a long rain delay in the middle. Boston's 5 early runs off of Mr. Bastard held up in a 11-6 win. Josh Beckett takes the hill today to look for a sweep.