Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Game 94: Kouzmanoffed!
The erstwhile Kevin Kouzmanoff tied the game for Oakland last night in the third with a sacrifice fly, then singled in the game winner in the tenth, sinking the Red Sox, 5-4.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Wicked! It's Wednesday! Except it's not!
Miss Janera the time traveler is checking in from Wednesday with her Wednesday Wickedness, this time from comedian and talk show host Ellen DeGeneres.
1. "I was coming home from kindergarten--well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves." How old were you when you started working and what was your first job?
Gosh. 13, I think? The first job I can recall is packing poly bags of flyers for our local newspaper company. I don't think it was legal.
2. "My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is." Tell us about your grandparents.
I only have one left, and she's in failing health.
3. "Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution. So procrastinate now, don't put it off." Do you procrastinate or are you on top of the situations?
I'm going to answer that one later.
(HA! See what I did there? That's comedy.)
I am a big time procrastinator.
4. "Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others." What would others say about you?
Dude needs to have a salad once in a damn while.
5. "The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble" Do you believe in life on other planets?
Yes, from a mathematical perspective. There are so MANY stars and planets, it seems impossible there isn't more life out there. I like the theory that they are out there, but they are more advanced, and they are just ignoring us.
6. "I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that." Do you have a godchild?
No.
7. "I don't understand the sizes anymore. There's a size zero, which I didn't even know that they had. It must stand for: 'Ohhh my God, you're thin.'" When was the last time that you were called too thin?
Still waiting for the first time.
8. "I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me - they're just, like, 'I can't believe you don't remember me!" I'm like, 'Oh Dad I'm sorry!'" Who was the last person that you should have recognized but didn't?
This happens to me at work all the time.
9. "I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It's been about two months since I've worked out. And I just don't have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words." Do you work out? Have you ever joined a gym and quit almost immediately?
I try to. I don't go to a gym. I was a member of the Y for a while, but I never went, so I quit.
10. 'We use 10 percent of our brains. Imagine how much we could accomplish if we used the other 60 percent." Do you feel that you utilize all your intelligence in every situation?
Sadly, yes.
1. "I was coming home from kindergarten--well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves." How old were you when you started working and what was your first job?
Gosh. 13, I think? The first job I can recall is packing poly bags of flyers for our local newspaper company. I don't think it was legal.
2. "My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is." Tell us about your grandparents.
I only have one left, and she's in failing health.
3. "Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution. So procrastinate now, don't put it off." Do you procrastinate or are you on top of the situations?
I'm going to answer that one later.
(HA! See what I did there? That's comedy.)
I am a big time procrastinator.
4. "Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others." What would others say about you?
Dude needs to have a salad once in a damn while.
5. "The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble" Do you believe in life on other planets?
Yes, from a mathematical perspective. There are so MANY stars and planets, it seems impossible there isn't more life out there. I like the theory that they are out there, but they are more advanced, and they are just ignoring us.
6. "I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that." Do you have a godchild?
No.
7. "I don't understand the sizes anymore. There's a size zero, which I didn't even know that they had. It must stand for: 'Ohhh my God, you're thin.'" When was the last time that you were called too thin?
Still waiting for the first time.
8. "I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me - they're just, like, 'I can't believe you don't remember me!" I'm like, 'Oh Dad I'm sorry!'" Who was the last person that you should have recognized but didn't?
This happens to me at work all the time.
9. "I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It's been about two months since I've worked out. And I just don't have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words." Do you work out? Have you ever joined a gym and quit almost immediately?
I try to. I don't go to a gym. I was a member of the Y for a while, but I never went, so I quit.
10. 'We use 10 percent of our brains. Imagine how much we could accomplish if we used the other 60 percent." Do you feel that you utilize all your intelligence in every situation?
Sadly, yes.
Game 93: Meh Beats Blah, 2-1
In a matchup of dramatically questionable starting pitchers, Dice K throttled Ben Sheets and the Athletics last night, 2-1. A fourth inning homer from Yo Adrian provided the difference. The Red Sox are now 53-40, in third place and 6 full games behind the taillights of the New York Yankees.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Been Caught Stealin'
Since I can't seem to wrap my mind around a Sunday 160 today, here's this week's Sunday Stealing.
23. Do you rent movies often?
No. We have Netflix, but I seldom watch any. I don't have 2 hours to sit and watch a movie anymore.
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
No, no vampires here.
25. How many countries have you visited?
Visited? None. Only been in the one country.
26. Have you made a prank phone call?
No. Couldn't keep from laughing.
27. Ever been on a train?
Yes. Rode them to college.
28. Brown or white eggs?
Can't tell the difference. Don't care.
29. Do you have a cell-phone?
Yes.
30. Do you use Chap Stick?
Yes.
31. Do you own a gun?
No.
32. Can you use chop sticks?
No. My father could and my wife can, but I cannot.
33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
With any luck, my wife.
34. Are you too forgiving?
No. I think everyone should be forgiving.
35. Ever been in love?
Yes.
36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow (or the next soonest week day)?
Working on her novel.
37. Ever have cream puffs?
Oh my yes.
38. Last time you cried?
I don't recall.
39. What was the last question you asked?
"Are you ever going to take a shower?"
40. Favorite time of the year?
Fall.
41. Do you have any tattoos?
No.
42. Are you sarcastic?
Isn't everybody?
43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
No. A butterfly flapped its wings in Brazil, so I decided not to.
44. Ever walked into a wall?
Yes, sadly.
23. Do you rent movies often?
No. We have Netflix, but I seldom watch any. I don't have 2 hours to sit and watch a movie anymore.
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
No, no vampires here.
25. How many countries have you visited?
Visited? None. Only been in the one country.
26. Have you made a prank phone call?
No. Couldn't keep from laughing.
27. Ever been on a train?
Yes. Rode them to college.
28. Brown or white eggs?
Can't tell the difference. Don't care.
29. Do you have a cell-phone?
Yes.
30. Do you use Chap Stick?
Yes.
31. Do you own a gun?
No.
32. Can you use chop sticks?
No. My father could and my wife can, but I cannot.
33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
With any luck, my wife.
34. Are you too forgiving?
No. I think everyone should be forgiving.
35. Ever been in love?
Yes.
36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow (or the next soonest week day)?
Working on her novel.
37. Ever have cream puffs?
Oh my yes.
38. Last time you cried?
I don't recall.
39. What was the last question you asked?
"Are you ever going to take a shower?"
40. Favorite time of the year?
Fall.
41. Do you have any tattoos?
No.
42. Are you sarcastic?
Isn't everybody?
43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
No. A butterfly flapped its wings in Brazil, so I decided not to.
44. Ever walked into a wall?
Yes, sadly.
After Further Review: "Plain Jane" by Cristyn West
My pal Cristyn West (otherwise known as @craftycmc on the Twitter) asked me if I would review her novel "Plain Jane", a thriller which she accurately calls a James Patterson-ish police procedural. I don't typically read a lot of those sort of books-they are fine, but they have a sameness to them that tends to have them lose their flavor, in my mind. Plus my bedside table has a stack of library books on it, so even though Cristyn gave me the link, I warned her it might take a while for me to get to it.
So I decided I'd take a peek last night, see how the story begins. And the next thing I knew, I was gasping to the finish line this afternoon, unable to stop. West cooks up a serial killer story with a unique twist that I will not spoil here. It is a definitely adult story, but well done, with characters that aren't like any others I have encountered. All in all, an extremely well constructed, pulse pounding read that is positively worth your time.
So I decided I'd take a peek last night, see how the story begins. And the next thing I knew, I was gasping to the finish line this afternoon, unable to stop. West cooks up a serial killer story with a unique twist that I will not spoil here. It is a definitely adult story, but well done, with characters that aren't like any others I have encountered. All in all, an extremely well constructed, pulse pounding read that is positively worth your time.
Game 92: If you can't run with the big dogs...
...you're better off staying on the porch.
In Boston today, the Red Sox fell quietly, 4-2, with Big Jon Lester taking the loss for the punchless Sox.
Boston is in third place, now 6 1/2 games out, headed for the West Coast death march, and fading fast.
In Boston today, the Red Sox fell quietly, 4-2, with Big Jon Lester taking the loss for the punchless Sox.
Boston is in third place, now 6 1/2 games out, headed for the West Coast death march, and fading fast.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Game 91: Youkbacca Strikes!
The Mighty Youkilis, apparently tired of this losing business, knocked in the tying run in the 9th inning and the game winner in the 11th to power a 3-2 win over Texas at Fenway tonight. The series continues tomorrow.
Better Late Than Never: A Friday 55
I looked down, my heart pounding.
It was him –the one I’ve spent whole classes daydreaming about -standing here in this bookstore, talking to me.
I cursed myself for the imperfect, chipped polish on one toe.
Trying to show calm I did not feel, I turned my gaze up.
He spoke:
“Do you know Hannah?”
(From Mr. Know It All, who posts the challenge every week here. )
It was him –the one I’ve spent whole classes daydreaming about -standing here in this bookstore, talking to me.
I cursed myself for the imperfect, chipped polish on one toe.
Trying to show calm I did not feel, I turned my gaze up.
He spoke:
“Do you know Hannah?”
(From Mr. Know It All, who posts the challenge every week here. )
Game 90: You Don't Bring A Knife To A Gun Fight...
...and you don't give the Rangers extra outs.
The Red Sox lost to the Rangers again tonight, 8-4, with Felix The Cat's two throwing errors giving the men from Tejas more than enough rope to hang us with.
Boston plays the Rangers again tomorrow and Sunday before heading West, and is 6 1/2 games out of first place in an increasingly irrelevant division race.
The Red Sox lost to the Rangers again tonight, 8-4, with Felix The Cat's two throwing errors giving the men from Tejas more than enough rope to hang us with.
Boston plays the Rangers again tomorrow and Sunday before heading West, and is 6 1/2 games out of first place in an increasingly irrelevant division race.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Game 89: Back In The....Well, Not The High Life, Exactly.....
In Boston this evening, the Walker Texas Rangers pulled a little Chuck Norris out on Timmeh, beating him about the head and the neck for 6 first inning runs on the way to a 7-2 blowout. Boston remains in 3rd place, now 5 1/2 games out of first.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Getting Wicked Late On Tuesday
We've run out of Tuesday/Wednesday gags, so since it's about an hour and a half until Wednesday, I'm going to go ahead with Janera's Wednesday Wickedness, based on statements by The Boss, the late Yankee owner George Steinbrenner.
1."But why shouldn't I speak out? Don't you speak out in this country?" Do you speak out as often as you should?
No. I am big on suffering in silence to preserve harmony. Not a good trait.
2. "I am tough. Sometimes I'm unreasonable. I have to catch myself every once in a while." Are you ever tough and unreasonable?
I'm very hard on my son. I'm scared of his future, partially-and part of it is just me being an asshole.
3. "I haven't always done a good job, and I haven't always been successful - but I know that I have tried." Do you believe that sometimes you learn more from a failure than a success?
I'm having trouble learning from anything. Then again, I'm not succeeding much, so how could I tell the difference.
4. "Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing. Breathing first, winning next." Do you feel that you always have to win?
No. As Leonard Cohen once put it, I am "Born To Lose".
5. "It is unbelievable to me that the highest-paid team in baseball would start the season in such a deep funk.” Do you think money always buys greatness?
No. Yankee teams proved this over the years. What money does do is buy you the chance to bury your mistakes-with money, you can try again and again.
6. "I take my last phone call at home at about 11pm." What time is too late to call you?
There isn't really a too late time. If you need to call me, you can call me. But if it's after about 10pm, you better have a good reason. (My niece once decided 6:30 AM on a Sunday was a good time to call me. I didn't get mad at her directly, but I let her Daddy know that wasn't very cool.)
7. "Don't talk to me about aesthetics or tradition. Talk to me about what sells and what's good right now." Do you think tradition matters?
Sort of. Tradition in sports gets too much credit for things. There is an extra something about the Yankees-they are integral to the history of baseball in a way that the Marlins will never be. But that doesn't win baseball games or accomplish anything real in 2010.
8. "And what the American people like is to think the underdog still has a chance." Do you tend to root for the underdog?
Sure. Given no rooting interest, I will pull for the underdog.
9. "I don't think I ever could exceed my father's successes. He was a completely satisfied man, he knew what he wanted to accomplish and he accomplished it. I did do a lot, though, to try to please him." Do you ever feel that you want to exceed your parents successes?
I'd love to, but I'll never be one tenth the man my father was.
10. "I'm really 95 percent Mr. Rogers, and only 5 percent Oscar the Grouch." In terms of cartoon characters, who are you like?
Half Spongebob (work ethic and consistency and weird hobbies) and half Patrick (lazy, love food and creature comforts, and don't understand anything.)
1."But why shouldn't I speak out? Don't you speak out in this country?" Do you speak out as often as you should?
No. I am big on suffering in silence to preserve harmony. Not a good trait.
2. "I am tough. Sometimes I'm unreasonable. I have to catch myself every once in a while." Are you ever tough and unreasonable?
I'm very hard on my son. I'm scared of his future, partially-and part of it is just me being an asshole.
3. "I haven't always done a good job, and I haven't always been successful - but I know that I have tried." Do you believe that sometimes you learn more from a failure than a success?
I'm having trouble learning from anything. Then again, I'm not succeeding much, so how could I tell the difference.
4. "Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing. Breathing first, winning next." Do you feel that you always have to win?
No. As Leonard Cohen once put it, I am "Born To Lose".
5. "It is unbelievable to me that the highest-paid team in baseball would start the season in such a deep funk.” Do you think money always buys greatness?
No. Yankee teams proved this over the years. What money does do is buy you the chance to bury your mistakes-with money, you can try again and again.
6. "I take my last phone call at home at about 11pm." What time is too late to call you?
There isn't really a too late time. If you need to call me, you can call me. But if it's after about 10pm, you better have a good reason. (My niece once decided 6:30 AM on a Sunday was a good time to call me. I didn't get mad at her directly, but I let her Daddy know that wasn't very cool.)
7. "Don't talk to me about aesthetics or tradition. Talk to me about what sells and what's good right now." Do you think tradition matters?
Sort of. Tradition in sports gets too much credit for things. There is an extra something about the Yankees-they are integral to the history of baseball in a way that the Marlins will never be. But that doesn't win baseball games or accomplish anything real in 2010.
8. "And what the American people like is to think the underdog still has a chance." Do you tend to root for the underdog?
Sure. Given no rooting interest, I will pull for the underdog.
9. "I don't think I ever could exceed my father's successes. He was a completely satisfied man, he knew what he wanted to accomplish and he accomplished it. I did do a lot, though, to try to please him." Do you ever feel that you want to exceed your parents successes?
I'd love to, but I'll never be one tenth the man my father was.
10. "I'm really 95 percent Mr. Rogers, and only 5 percent Oscar the Grouch." In terms of cartoon characters, who are you like?
Half Spongebob (work ethic and consistency and weird hobbies) and half Patrick (lazy, love food and creature comforts, and don't understand anything.)
100 Word Challenge: Against All Odds
Here's the challenge. And here's my response, entitled "Against All Odds":
It was a Phil Collins song, which was cool. Not cool like Iron Maiden, but cool enough. A sappy ballad though, the piano chords plaintive, but loud in our darkened middle school cafeteria. I felt uncomfortable, dress shirt and skinny leather tie that seemed cool, but just looked out of place and wrong among kids I was just getting to know. “New Kid In Town.” The girl from English class was there, all black curls and loud, gum smacking confidence. She walked right past me, heading into the bathroom in a pack of other girls. Would she dance with me?
It was a Phil Collins song, which was cool. Not cool like Iron Maiden, but cool enough. A sappy ballad though, the piano chords plaintive, but loud in our darkened middle school cafeteria. I felt uncomfortable, dress shirt and skinny leather tie that seemed cool, but just looked out of place and wrong among kids I was just getting to know. “New Kid In Town.” The girl from English class was there, all black curls and loud, gum smacking confidence. She walked right past me, heading into the bathroom in a pack of other girls. Would she dance with me?
Another loss for Yankee Nation
Longtime owner of the New York Yankees George Steinbrenner has died.
While, again, we are no friends of the Yankees in this space, Steinbrenner was a legitimate force in baseball for decades-and no history of baseball would be complete without his name being included. He didn't always do the smart thing-but he always cared, passionately, about winning, which is really what you want in the owner of your sports team. My sympathies to Yankee Nation and the Steinbrenner family.
While, again, we are no friends of the Yankees in this space, Steinbrenner was a legitimate force in baseball for decades-and no history of baseball would be complete without his name being included. He didn't always do the smart thing-but he always cared, passionately, about winning, which is really what you want in the owner of your sports team. My sympathies to Yankee Nation and the Steinbrenner family.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Well, We Have To Do SOMETHING During The All Star Break!
It strikes me today that I didn't do Sunday Stealing, the desperate blogger's best friend, so given the fact that real live baseball-type stuff won't be back with us until Thursday, let's go with it.
1. First thing you wash in the shower?
Chest
2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
I actually don't own one. I have a black jacket with a hood that I like, though.
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
I'd better, if I know what's good for me.
4. Do you plan outfits?
Not as such. I will often get clothes out at night for the next day, but it's more along the lines of "what ever is clean and near the top."
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
A little tired. I'm finally full-I didn't have breakfast or lunch today, so dinner felt pretty good. I haven't been sleeping well, either.
6. What's the closest thing to you that's red?
The spine of a book, Josh Axelrad's "Repeat Until Rich".
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
I was working at my former employer, but everything was rearranged and I couldn't find anything.
8. Did you meet anybody new today?
No.
9. What are you craving right now?
I usually say, "Peace," but that's kind of a copout. I bought some of those premade icecream cones yesterday, I forget what they're called-I'd like one of those.
10. Do you floss?
Nope.
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Corned beef.
12. Are you emotional?
Of course not. (*chuckle*) I'm a boy, silly. Boys don't have feelings.
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
By ones? Are you insane?
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
Bite.
15. Do you like your hair?
I'm tempted to steal the Jeff Foxworthy line-I'm just happy it's still there. But honestly? No.
16. Do you like yourself?
Nope.
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
I would. I'm no fan, but if I could get him to talk, I think it would be fascinating.
18. What are you listening to right now?
Jimmy Page's solo on the live version of "No Quarter" from the "Song Remains The Same" album.
19. Are your parents strict?
Were they? Yes and no. Hard to say. It was a different time.
20. Would you go sky diving?
Not for all the tea in China.
21. Do you like cottage cheese?
Nope.
22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
Depends on your definition. I sold Kevin McHale (Hall of Fame basketball player) a newspaper once.
1. First thing you wash in the shower?
Chest
2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
I actually don't own one. I have a black jacket with a hood that I like, though.
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
I'd better, if I know what's good for me.
4. Do you plan outfits?
Not as such. I will often get clothes out at night for the next day, but it's more along the lines of "what ever is clean and near the top."
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
A little tired. I'm finally full-I didn't have breakfast or lunch today, so dinner felt pretty good. I haven't been sleeping well, either.
6. What's the closest thing to you that's red?
The spine of a book, Josh Axelrad's "Repeat Until Rich".
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
I was working at my former employer, but everything was rearranged and I couldn't find anything.
8. Did you meet anybody new today?
No.
9. What are you craving right now?
I usually say, "Peace," but that's kind of a copout. I bought some of those premade icecream cones yesterday, I forget what they're called-I'd like one of those.
10. Do you floss?
Nope.
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Corned beef.
12. Are you emotional?
Of course not. (*chuckle*) I'm a boy, silly. Boys don't have feelings.
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
By ones? Are you insane?
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
Bite.
15. Do you like your hair?
I'm tempted to steal the Jeff Foxworthy line-I'm just happy it's still there. But honestly? No.
16. Do you like yourself?
Nope.
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
I would. I'm no fan, but if I could get him to talk, I think it would be fascinating.
18. What are you listening to right now?
Jimmy Page's solo on the live version of "No Quarter" from the "Song Remains The Same" album.
19. Are your parents strict?
Were they? Yes and no. Hard to say. It was a different time.
20. Would you go sky diving?
Not for all the tea in China.
21. Do you like cottage cheese?
Nope.
22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
Depends on your definition. I sold Kevin McHale (Hall of Fame basketball player) a newspaper once.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Game 88: Gasping To The (Sorta) Halfway Mark
In Toronto today, home runs from Darnell McDonald and David Ortiz pushed the Red Sox to a 3-2 win, leaving them at 51-37 at the All Star Break, in third place and 5 full games out of the top slot. The regular season resumes Thursday.
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