Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The Katievasion!

Today is blogswap day, cats and kittens, where the paranoid, antisocial ravings of myself are replaced by the smooth jazz stylings of Katie, who is a way better blogger than I am, with 100% more buttplug jokes. If you are so lonely, paranoid, and antisocial that you simply must experience my thoughts for the day, they will be represented at Katie's little corner of Blogistan. Katie blogs here , tweets here , and shops here , should you feel the need to lavish affection upon her.

Katie's brilliance begins here:

Hi to Mr. Mike’s friends. I am Katie. True story.

I was touched in my special places when Mikey Mike asked if I’d like to guest post on his blog. Not many people solicit me for more than sexual favors borrowing money or advice so when he suggested we swap blogs, I was super stoked. Of course I’m no good with topics and stuff so I made him do the hard work. I told him I was legally indecisive and he bought it.

First off, I want to note that I really don’t understand why we call Thanksgiving and Christmas the “holiday season.” There’s probably an explanation. There’s probably a reason. I don’t like it. For the sake of this post, though, I’ll refer to November and December as “Holiday Season.” But I won’t like it. Just sayin’.

With the holidays approaching, I find myself in denial. Each year, I find myself in the same denial. I always think that I shouldn’t buy any presents because the Holiday season (or at least Christmas) is going to be cancelled and I won’t have to have gifts. Then a week or so before the official day of the holiday I realize that I was wrong again, Christmas will go on, and now I have a million presents to buy for people whom I often can’t stand.

It’s not that I don’t like the holidays. I think I’m a fan of most holidays in which it is not only acceptable to get drunk, but expected. Kind of like the unofficial holiday of “Thanksgiving Eve.” I don’t really know how this ritual came to be, but I do know that it’s fantastic, especially because the next day is filled with turkey and the trimmings to chase that hangover away.

Most things about the Holidays I do like. I love all of the food on Thanksgiving. And I like football. I also like the church and Christmas thing – I liked Christmas a lot better when I got all of the presents and thought Santa was real. I also liked it when a pencil with the word “Mom” on it was an acceptable gift and it only cost me .50 cents. I was also a fan of the snow globes which were about $1.00. Now you can’t find a nice snow globe for less than $30.

So, I do like Christmas, I do like Thanksgiving. As for the others?
I don’t like Valentine’s Day.
I do like Halloween.
I don’t like Easter.
I like Christopher Columbus Day.
So all in all, I think I like the Holidays. I don’t like that so much has changed since I was a wee tyke – but at least there is beer to numb the pain, right?



  1. I had to stalk you all the way over here but I am a dedicated reader so I took all the effort and clicked my mouse just for you (hehe that's what she said wink wink)

    I hate holidays too. and I hate buying presents for people I feel obligated to. This year I might scrooge out and just say bah humbag to the holidays! Who needs them and beer to numb the pain...sign me up!

    <3 April

  2. Stalk away, April. There's many fewer buttplug references here, though. Be warned.

  3. Maybe that is what your blog needs though Mike -- butt plug references.

    Just something to think about.

  4. That may indeed be. Buttplugs or health care reform? Or perhaps both?

    Only the shadow knows....


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