Another week, another 100 Words Challenge from Velvet Verbosity. Get your own peek at her verbosity.
Breakfast.
Most important meal of the day, right?
Right.
When you wake up with nausea and a sense of unease, and this happens every day, you don't eat breakfast. You don't eat lunch. You go without food until raging hunger compels you to eat, then you make stupefyingly bad food choices.
Then you feel sick again, because you waited so long to eat. Then you feel bad, because you made a foolish food choice that you know will make you feel bad later. So you feel bad now, and you feel bad later. So you eat more.
Good call, chief.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Cri De Coeur
Tweetbookz.com-Possibly the stupidest idea I have ever seen outside of the Republican Party platform.
***
Now, I told myself I was going to be nice. I guess I lied.
***
“Once there was a way to get back homeward…”
***
“We note our place with book markers/
That measure what we’ve lost…”
***
Did I mention I love the IPod? Squeeze’s “Tempted” rolling into the Fugees’ cover of “Killing Me Softly (With His Song)”. Gorgeous. Lauryn Hill could sing the phone book, and I’d want to listen to it.
***
I’ve been writing this post for a while now. You may notice (you probably won’t, but you indeed may) that I haven’t posted anything in nearly a week. You may notice, and be worried. You may notice, and be grateful. You may notice, and not care in the least. Or you may not have noticed at all.
I have been having a crisis. Not exactly a crisis of faith. Not exactly a midlife crisis-although, fortunately, I have managed to be unattractive enough to make an affair a physical impossibility. (I wasn’t tempted to begin with, in any case.) Not exactly a crisis of conscience-although there are certainly elements of that.
Dan Carlin told a story on his latest podcast. He says his daughter, age 7, was complaining about the fact that her schoolwork and other household chores were preventing her from doing the things she wanted to do. Carlin says that he told her, in typical parent fashion, that in life, sometimes the things that you have to do get in the way of what you want to do. Typical-you can’t have your ice cream until you finish your carrots. Simple, right?
Carlin then thought about what he had said. Carlin’s show has been focused for a while, and particularly so recently, on the problem of political corruption. Carlin’s view, which I find very hard to dispute, is that the way we fund elections in this country amounts to legalized bribery. Both parties siphon in enormous amounts of cash from corporations and special interests, and then, to no one’s surprise, we get wars fought for corporate profit, health insurance reform that won’t and financial reform that doesn’t. In short, the government responds to the needs of those who pay for it-large corporations and lobbyists. This makes America, essentially, crony capitalism, as corrupt and rotten as Columbia or any other state where the government is for sale in the marketplace.
Carlin noted that, despite his writing and podcast ranting on the topic, he hasn't really done anything to change it. This makes him a hypocrite-he tells his daughter that she has to do the “have to's” before the “want to's”, and then he doesn't lift a finger to do the biggest “have to” of all-saving democracy.
Carlin's story is an apt one-I'm not doing my have to's either. I am having a crisis, at the end of the day, of relevance. I am having an enormous amount of trouble seeing the point in continuing the effort, at blogging in particular and at everything else in general. I can't escape the feeling that we are doomed.
***
On an unrelated note, another Red Sox season is approaching, and longtime readers of the space will probably remember that I posted here accounts and commentary about every game during the 2008 and 2009 seasons. It seems a shame not to do so again, given that the first two seasons were enjoyed by enough people to fill a Volkswagen, at the very least. I'm thinking that this year, I have to do something a little different. I am thinking maybe poetry, or starting each entry with a letter of the alphabet, or something like that, to keep myself interested.
***
***
Now, I told myself I was going to be nice. I guess I lied.
***
“Once there was a way to get back homeward…”
***
“We note our place with book markers/
That measure what we’ve lost…”
***
Did I mention I love the IPod? Squeeze’s “Tempted” rolling into the Fugees’ cover of “Killing Me Softly (With His Song)”. Gorgeous. Lauryn Hill could sing the phone book, and I’d want to listen to it.
***
I’ve been writing this post for a while now. You may notice (you probably won’t, but you indeed may) that I haven’t posted anything in nearly a week. You may notice, and be worried. You may notice, and be grateful. You may notice, and not care in the least. Or you may not have noticed at all.
I have been having a crisis. Not exactly a crisis of faith. Not exactly a midlife crisis-although, fortunately, I have managed to be unattractive enough to make an affair a physical impossibility. (I wasn’t tempted to begin with, in any case.) Not exactly a crisis of conscience-although there are certainly elements of that.
Dan Carlin told a story on his latest podcast. He says his daughter, age 7, was complaining about the fact that her schoolwork and other household chores were preventing her from doing the things she wanted to do. Carlin says that he told her, in typical parent fashion, that in life, sometimes the things that you have to do get in the way of what you want to do. Typical-you can’t have your ice cream until you finish your carrots. Simple, right?
Carlin then thought about what he had said. Carlin’s show has been focused for a while, and particularly so recently, on the problem of political corruption. Carlin’s view, which I find very hard to dispute, is that the way we fund elections in this country amounts to legalized bribery. Both parties siphon in enormous amounts of cash from corporations and special interests, and then, to no one’s surprise, we get wars fought for corporate profit, health insurance reform that won’t and financial reform that doesn’t. In short, the government responds to the needs of those who pay for it-large corporations and lobbyists. This makes America, essentially, crony capitalism, as corrupt and rotten as Columbia or any other state where the government is for sale in the marketplace.
Carlin noted that, despite his writing and podcast ranting on the topic, he hasn't really done anything to change it. This makes him a hypocrite-he tells his daughter that she has to do the “have to's” before the “want to's”, and then he doesn't lift a finger to do the biggest “have to” of all-saving democracy.
Carlin's story is an apt one-I'm not doing my have to's either. I am having a crisis, at the end of the day, of relevance. I am having an enormous amount of trouble seeing the point in continuing the effort, at blogging in particular and at everything else in general. I can't escape the feeling that we are doomed.
***
On an unrelated note, another Red Sox season is approaching, and longtime readers of the space will probably remember that I posted here accounts and commentary about every game during the 2008 and 2009 seasons. It seems a shame not to do so again, given that the first two seasons were enjoyed by enough people to fill a Volkswagen, at the very least. I'm thinking that this year, I have to do something a little different. I am thinking maybe poetry, or starting each entry with a letter of the alphabet, or something like that, to keep myself interested.
***
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
I Love The Internet, Volume MCMLXVI
This gentleman took the time to try and calculate Charlie Brown's win-loss record as a pitcher. I love the Internet.
Monday, January 11, 2010
100 Words On Nervous
Another shot at Velvet Verbosity's 100 Words Challenge-Exactly one hundred words, no more, no less, on a given keyword. ( Look here to learn more.)
Am I nervous?
I think of Jack Nicholson's Colonel Jessup when I hear that word-looking at Tom Cruise, sneering, “So don't think for one second that you can come down here, flash a badge and make me nervous.”
What do I have to be nervous about? What do I fear?
What don't I?
I fear for my child. I fear he has inherited my fear, my reluctance to change.
I fear for my country's and the world's future. I fear the results of our ignorance and shortsightedness.
I fear that tomorrow won't be better than today. Yes, I'm nervous.
Am I nervous?
I think of Jack Nicholson's Colonel Jessup when I hear that word-looking at Tom Cruise, sneering, “So don't think for one second that you can come down here, flash a badge and make me nervous.”
What do I have to be nervous about? What do I fear?
What don't I?
I fear for my child. I fear he has inherited my fear, my reluctance to change.
I fear for my country's and the world's future. I fear the results of our ignorance and shortsightedness.
I fear that tomorrow won't be better than today. Yes, I'm nervous.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
In Defense of Donovan McNabb and Andy Reid
Tonight, the Philadelphia Eagles got waxed in Dallas, ending their season and being eliminated from the NFL playoffs once again.
Philadelphia sports fans, being the level headed, rational types that they always are, will soon be suggesting calm, sensible remedies like firing the coach, hanging the quarterback in effigy, and burning down the stadium and salting the ground that it stands on.
This is probably a little extreme.
The primary criticism is that McNabb and Reid have not won a Super Bowl, which is indisputably true. It is imagined that McNabb or Reid have some sort of character deficiency or lack of passion that prevents them from doing so.
However, neither have Jim Kelly, Dan Fouts, or Dan Marino, who were all Hall of Famers.
Yes, the Philadelphia fan base wants a Super Bowl-I've been a Boston Red Sox fan since 1978. I understand waiting for your team to win a title. But the best way to win a title is to make the playoffs again and again, and hope the bounces go your way. That is precisely what Reid does, but he's not going to receive the credit he deserves.
Philadelphia sports fans, being the level headed, rational types that they always are, will soon be suggesting calm, sensible remedies like firing the coach, hanging the quarterback in effigy, and burning down the stadium and salting the ground that it stands on.
This is probably a little extreme.
The primary criticism is that McNabb and Reid have not won a Super Bowl, which is indisputably true. It is imagined that McNabb or Reid have some sort of character deficiency or lack of passion that prevents them from doing so.
However, neither have Jim Kelly, Dan Fouts, or Dan Marino, who were all Hall of Famers.
Yes, the Philadelphia fan base wants a Super Bowl-I've been a Boston Red Sox fan since 1978. I understand waiting for your team to win a title. But the best way to win a title is to make the playoffs again and again, and hope the bounces go your way. That is precisely what Reid does, but he's not going to receive the credit he deserves.
Thursday, January 07, 2010
Go here, before someone gets sued.
I forget who clued me into this, but it was someone on Twitter.
The website begins, "On Sept. 9, 2009 I experienced something that I still am having trouble believing happened to me. I came into the possession of a cassette tape containing a Beatles album that was never released. I dont expect you to believe what happened to me, I sure wouldn't, but thats why I grabbed the tape as proof that my experience was real."
The download links to a series of remixed "songs" consisting of snippets of Beatles tracks and solo tracks mixed together to make it sound a little as if the band were still making music. It clearly took a lot of effort on someone's part. I haven't listened to all of it yet, but I have found it interesting and somewhat enjoyable.
If you're a Beatles geek like me, go grab it before it disappears. (I can't imagine someone's not going to get sued over this.)
The website begins, "On Sept. 9, 2009 I experienced something that I still am having trouble believing happened to me. I came into the possession of a cassette tape containing a Beatles album that was never released. I dont expect you to believe what happened to me, I sure wouldn't, but thats why I grabbed the tape as proof that my experience was real."
The download links to a series of remixed "songs" consisting of snippets of Beatles tracks and solo tracks mixed together to make it sound a little as if the band were still making music. It clearly took a lot of effort on someone's part. I haven't listened to all of it yet, but I have found it interesting and somewhat enjoyable.
If you're a Beatles geek like me, go grab it before it disappears. (I can't imagine someone's not going to get sued over this.)
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
Phil Nugent on 2010
Phil Nugent on the New Year and Year Two of the Obama Administration
"I may not agree with everything Obama has done or will do, but I do believe that he gives a flying [f&%k] about what happens to the people of this planet during his time as leader of its most powerful country. I guess you could argue that's a low bar to set. Thanks again to everyone who, in doing a single thing that helped put [George W.Bush] in office, had a hand in setting it."
"I may not agree with everything Obama has done or will do, but I do believe that he gives a flying [f&%k] about what happens to the people of this planet during his time as leader of its most powerful country. I guess you could argue that's a low bar to set. Thanks again to everyone who, in doing a single thing that helped put [George W.Bush] in office, had a hand in setting it."
100 Words on Andre Dawson
It's Hall Of Fame time, when the baseball writers choose who to admit to the Hall. This year, it's Andre Dawson, an outfielder from 1976-1996. Also, around this time is the caterwauling, when other baseball writers complain that the new choice doesn't belong-that they'd prefer Candidate A or B before this guy. I used to do that, too. But no more. Dawson's in. He's not the best choice, but he's there now, and I'm ok with it. Let's celebrate baseball, and life, for what it is instead of what it's not. Life is too short to worry about that stuff.
Monday, January 04, 2010
Christmas Epilogue
My IPhone has gone from moderately slow and useful to almost totally useless-all of a sudden, it refuses to give me any data over the Edge network. No Twitter, no email, no nothing-unless I am in range of a Wi-Fi signal. I don’t know why this occurred-it was functioning just fine one day, and utterly not the next day. So I may be phone shopping soon, because an IPhone without connectivity is basically a big flat rectangle, and if I can’t connect outside of WiFi, I’m not sure how much use it is to me.
***
My colleague’s elementary school age son, upon watching his Dad taking down the Christmas tree: “Is this the epilogue of Christmas? Do we roll credits now?”
***
Witnessing the chaos created and utter incompetence displayed by our friends in the health insurance industry during the beginning of the plan year period, the notion that the government could possibly do worse than this bunch of clowns is positively laughable.
***
On the baseball front, the Red Sox appear close to a deal for Seattle's Adrien Beltre, who will enter into a very crowded bottom half of the infield, Boston having approximately 711 players to play catcher, first base, and third base. But they'll figure it out.
Every year around this time, I start getting charged up for baseball season-the fantasy preview magazines start to show up, and I start rereading my baseball books. I have already polished off "The Neyer/James Guide To Pitchers", and I'm starting in on "Baseball Dynasties" next. About 45 more days until pitchers and catchers report, everybody!
***
My colleague’s elementary school age son, upon watching his Dad taking down the Christmas tree: “Is this the epilogue of Christmas? Do we roll credits now?”
***
Witnessing the chaos created and utter incompetence displayed by our friends in the health insurance industry during the beginning of the plan year period, the notion that the government could possibly do worse than this bunch of clowns is positively laughable.
***
On the baseball front, the Red Sox appear close to a deal for Seattle's Adrien Beltre, who will enter into a very crowded bottom half of the infield, Boston having approximately 711 players to play catcher, first base, and third base. But they'll figure it out.
Every year around this time, I start getting charged up for baseball season-the fantasy preview magazines start to show up, and I start rereading my baseball books. I have already polished off "The Neyer/James Guide To Pitchers", and I'm starting in on "Baseball Dynasties" next. About 45 more days until pitchers and catchers report, everybody!
Saturday, January 02, 2010
Well, at least this is kind of neat.
It's Palindrome Day on Twitter.
01-02-2010 backwards is, 01-20-2010.
Does that mean I now have to everything I did today backwards? I hope not. It was painful enough forwards.
***
If some Sherlock Holmes nut tells you that they didn't mention Holmes' cocaine use in the movie, they did-they just came at it obliquely. At one point, Watson says to Holmes, who has just consumed something from a vial, "You know that's intended for eye surgery!" Cocaine hydrochloride used to be used as an anesthetic for eye surgery.
***
My son's theory is that the aliens are coming to kill us all in 2012. My response was, "Well, I guess I won't be worrying about how to pay for your college, then."
01-02-2010 backwards is, 01-20-2010.
Does that mean I now have to everything I did today backwards? I hope not. It was painful enough forwards.
***
If some Sherlock Holmes nut tells you that they didn't mention Holmes' cocaine use in the movie, they did-they just came at it obliquely. At one point, Watson says to Holmes, who has just consumed something from a vial, "You know that's intended for eye surgery!" Cocaine hydrochloride used to be used as an anesthetic for eye surgery.
***
My son's theory is that the aliens are coming to kill us all in 2012. My response was, "Well, I guess I won't be worrying about how to pay for your college, then."
Friday, January 01, 2010
2009 Can Suck It
Or, as the immortal Bono once put it, "Nothing changes...on New Year's Day..."
So, we can take 2009 and relegate it to the back of the shelf. It's over. "Put it on the board, yes", as Ken Harrelson says. I posted 5 fewer blog entries in 2009 than in 2008. If this trend continues, I will be posting 1 item per year by 2135 or so. So you have that to look forward to.
It's a semi-quasi fraud of a holiday. People don't go to work because, well, you have to throw out your old calendars, right? That must be the reason. My son actually stayed up to witness the new year for the first time, and now he realizes it is as much of a fraud as flossing your teeth.
Resolutions? Never make promises I can't keep.
Thirty years ago, I can't remember anything significant. Rumor has it it was 1980.
Twenty years ago, I was in college, and very deeply in love.
Ten years ago, I was married with a toddler.
So it goes.
Here's hoping that the nice, round, symmetricalness of the even number, 2010, is better than 2009.
"Things are Sh&^ty..but I'm pretty sure they can't get worse."
-Rent
So, we can take 2009 and relegate it to the back of the shelf. It's over. "Put it on the board, yes", as Ken Harrelson says. I posted 5 fewer blog entries in 2009 than in 2008. If this trend continues, I will be posting 1 item per year by 2135 or so. So you have that to look forward to.
It's a semi-quasi fraud of a holiday. People don't go to work because, well, you have to throw out your old calendars, right? That must be the reason. My son actually stayed up to witness the new year for the first time, and now he realizes it is as much of a fraud as flossing your teeth.
Resolutions? Never make promises I can't keep.
Thirty years ago, I can't remember anything significant. Rumor has it it was 1980.
Twenty years ago, I was in college, and very deeply in love.
Ten years ago, I was married with a toddler.
So it goes.
Here's hoping that the nice, round, symmetricalness of the even number, 2010, is better than 2009.
"Things are Sh&^ty..but I'm pretty sure they can't get worse."
-Rent
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
It Ain't Us, Bay
Jason Bay, formerly known as Everyone's Favorite Canadian, has flown the proverbial coop, leaving good sense and Boston behind to become a New York Metropolitan. With the Mike Lowell trade having vanished into the ether, this leaves Boston oversupplied with aging semi-respectable batters with health issues (Lowell, Ortiz, Drew) and undersupplied with legitimate major league batters (Our Man Youk, and Our Man DP, and...uh....did I mention Youk?)
So hopefully, a deal of some sort is in the offing, or you can expect to read sentences like "Sox lose 3-2" on here quite a bit in the months to come.
So hopefully, a deal of some sort is in the offing, or you can expect to read sentences like "Sox lose 3-2" on here quite a bit in the months to come.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
I Win! I Win!
What do I win, you may ask?
Well, nothing at all, but I did, in fact, win my Fantasy Football League this year. Thanks, in part, to Philadelphia's own Donovan McNabb, the Arizona Cardinals' Larry Fitzgerald, the Packers' Ryan Grant, and the Colts' Dallas Clark, along with my shrewd picking-a-pretend-football-team skills and the fantasy advice of the Talented Mr. Roto, @matthewberryTMR on Twitter, I have managed to triumph over my brother and 10 other worthies.
What do I win, you may ask, again?
Nothing. Not a goshdarn thing.
But it's all mine.
Well, nothing at all, but I did, in fact, win my Fantasy Football League this year. Thanks, in part, to Philadelphia's own Donovan McNabb, the Arizona Cardinals' Larry Fitzgerald, the Packers' Ryan Grant, and the Colts' Dallas Clark, along with my shrewd picking-a-pretend-football-team skills and the fantasy advice of the Talented Mr. Roto, @matthewberryTMR on Twitter, I have managed to triumph over my brother and 10 other worthies.
What do I win, you may ask, again?
Nothing. Not a goshdarn thing.
But it's all mine.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
The War On Christmas
Well, we lost, because it came anyway.
Anyway, someone sent a bulk email at work wishing everyone a Merry Christmas, then bragging parenthetically that they were "not politically correct".
I forget where I heard it, but I heard a comic say once that complaining about being politically correct is basically saying, "I want to be rude, and I don't want to be called on it."
The recipients of that email don't all celebrate Christmas. That's just a fact. Saying "Merry Christmas" necessarily excludes people who don't celebrate that particular holiday. It's inappropriate. It's rude. If you want to show off your freedom of speech, start a blog.
(It shouldn't be sent on a work email system anyway, but that's an issue for management to ignore, not for me.)
(Also, that being said, in the United States in 2009, if you're honestly offended by the use of the phrase "Merry Christmas", you really have to learn to pick your battles.)
Anyway, someone sent a bulk email at work wishing everyone a Merry Christmas, then bragging parenthetically that they were "not politically correct".
I forget where I heard it, but I heard a comic say once that complaining about being politically correct is basically saying, "I want to be rude, and I don't want to be called on it."
The recipients of that email don't all celebrate Christmas. That's just a fact. Saying "Merry Christmas" necessarily excludes people who don't celebrate that particular holiday. It's inappropriate. It's rude. If you want to show off your freedom of speech, start a blog.
(It shouldn't be sent on a work email system anyway, but that's an issue for management to ignore, not for me.)
(Also, that being said, in the United States in 2009, if you're honestly offended by the use of the phrase "Merry Christmas", you really have to learn to pick your battles.)
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