100 Words: No Small Parts

It's 100 Word Challenge Time, and here's this week's entry, "No Small Parts"

“Something is rotten in the state of Denmark,” I said.

Marcellus?, I was thinking. 37 lines? I’ve done Othello! I was an understudy, but still! And they have me do MARCELLUS?

I had dreams. I didn’t want to end up doing Shakespeare for yokels in the sticks. And not even the good parts. I’m better than this part, this lousy summer stock life, this stupid two bit town.

What happened to me? To the person I thought I was?

He was waiting for me, having already given me my cue.

“Nay, let’s follow him,” I said.

Perspective

So I'm going from one place to another place, like you do (as @erikjfisher would put it). I had it planned out-there was time enough to get where I needed to go, but not a lot of extra time. That's not usually the way I roll, but that was the way it lined up. So I'm going, and the ONLY way to get across your friend and mine, the Delaware River, the aptly named Burlington-Bristol Bridge, is closed.

F&%k.

So we turn around, and think for a minute, and develop an alternate route. We use it, and get where we're going, no harm, no foul, about 20 minutes late, which turned out not to matter. Another anodyne frustration, right?

So I get home, and I see this , which apparently happened 15 minutes before I came along. There was a two car collision, causing two people to be sent to the hospital.

There's a famous David Foster Wallace speech where he talks about how we tend to view other people as extras in the movies of our lives.

"Because the traffic jams and crowded aisles and long checkout lines give me time to think, and if I don't make a conscious decision about how to think and what to pay attention to, I'm going to be pissed and miserable every time I have to food-shop, because my natural default-setting is the certainty that situations like this are really all about me, about my hungriness and my fatigue and my desire to just get home, and it's going to seem, for all the world, like everybody else is just in my way, and who are all these people in my way?"


Those people are human, just like you and I, and have needs, and wants, and frustrations, just like you and I do. It's easy to forget that. 


I hope the people who so grievously inconvenienced me today are OK. 

A Royal Pain

Either Janera is late, or I'm early, or something. But it's Wednesday Wickedness day, and it's actually Wednesday, and things, and stuff. This week's contestant is actual royalty, Prince William of England









1. “I've had lots of kids come up and ask for my autograph, I've had a grandmother stop me and ask me if I know a good place to buy underwear.”Where do you buy your underwear?




Whereever it's on sale. 


2. “I'm always open for people saying I'm wrong because most of the time I am.” How often are you wrong?


I'm married. Every minute of every day.
3. “Harry can paint but I can't. He has our father's talent while I, on the other hand, am about the biggest idiot on a piece of canvas. I did do a couple of drawings at Eton which were put on display. Teachers thought they were examples of modern art, but in fact, I was just trying to paint a house!” What was the last thing that you drew?


A map for someone who was lost. 
4. “I do think I am a country boy at heart. I love the buzz of towns and going out with friends and sitting with them drinking and whatever -- it's fun -- but, at the same time, I like space and freedom.” How would you describe yourself?


"In no particular order."
5. “I remember her as being a huge inspiration to me, someone to really look up to and admire.” He’s talking about his mom. Who do you admire?



The President. My father. 


6. “I think it's very important that you make your own decision about what you are. Therefore you're responsible for your actions, so you don't blame other people.” How do you think you are about taking responsibility for your actions?


Not as good as I should be. 
7. “My guiding principles in life are to be honest, genuine, thoughtful and caring.” What are your guiding principles?

Tell the truth. Split your kings. Take the underdog at home. Dont take any wooden nickels. 


8. “Only the mad girls chase me, I think.” When you were, or if you are, single: What type of people chased you?

Nonexistent ones. 

9. “I don't deliberately select my friends because of their background. If I enjoy someone's company, then that's all that counts. I have many different friends who aren't from the same background as me and we get on really well -- it's brilliant.” How do you select your friends?

I dont have any friends. 

10. “People say it's not ambitious, but it is actually quite ambitious wanting to help people.” When was the last time that you volunteered to help people?


I did a lot of volunteering at my son's old school. 

Game 139: Turnabout is Fair Play

In Boston last night, Dice K was hammered by the Rays,winding up on the wrong end of a 14-5 loss. And so it goes.

Game 138: Putting The Smack Down

Long past the point it has any relevance, the Red Sox put the smack down on the Rays, 12-5 yesterday at Fenway, featuring homers from Yo Adrian, Ay Papi, and young Master Kalish.

Pick me! Pick me! Pick ME!....Oh, you did pick me?....Alright, then.

With deep honor and gratitude, I learned that the editors of 52/250 Flash, a weekly collection of short fiction, selected 'lil ol me, and my piece, "Dreamers Learn To Steer By The Stars", for web publication in "thirteen"-their quarterly review. I'm tickled pink (and not just because I got some sun on Sunday). You can find it here.

Tagged Out!

My wife , who is entirely too tolerant, has tagged me with a meme, which she found here. I'm not going to tag anyone, but you may feel free to lift it from me. That's what they are fir, after all.

1. Why did you start blogging?

In 2003, I read about it in Newsweek, I think. I just needed an outlet, and started whining. I didn't start blogging in my current form (pretenses of entertainment) until 2006 or 7.

2. If you could travel anywhere in the world with no restriction of costs, where would it be and why?


Stealing my wife's answer again-London and Europe.

3. Did you have a teacher in school that had a great influence on your life? If so, what?

My English teacher my junior year. She told me I could write, and reminded me that teenage problems are just as significant as any other problems, to the people that are having them.  

4. If you could spend the day with a famous person, who would it be, and what would you do?
 
I'd have to steal my wife's answer-Jimmy Pardo and/or the Never Not Funny gang.

5. Toilet paper – over or under?

I don’t really care.

6. Name one thing in your life that you would do over if possible.

I wouldn't have gone to the college I went to.

7. Tell about your pets – if any.

None. I would like one, but I really don't want the extra work-so that kind of rules that right out.

8. Do you live in a small town or a large town. (You don’t have to name the town.)

"I was born in a small town, and I live in a small town..."

Tomorrow is Microfiction Monday, But You Get To Read It Today: "Adventure Cruise"

Tomorrow is Microfiction Monday, but you have to read it today.


This one is called "Adventure Cruise"













Johnson went over, then Charles.

Cap tried to save Jenkins, waves took them both.

I really shouldn’t have asked for the “Adventure Cruise”.

Game 137: Walking On Sunshine...Of A Sort

With the Red Sox leading 5-3 in the top of the ninth, and Jonathan Papelbon on the hill, victory seems assured, right?

Right.

However, Papelbon, Dustin Richardson, and Robert Manuel combined to walk 5 hitters in the ninth inning, handing Chicago a 7-5 victory.

Games 135 and 136: Double Trouble

Yesterday at Fenway, the Red Sox bowed twice to old friend Manny Ramirez and the White Sox, a pair of 3-1 defeats necessitated by Friday's rainout. Sunday features another matchup with the Pale Hose, who will be followed into town by the Naughty Fish for a three game set.

The Tools Of The Trade That Isn't Even Really My Trade (Contains Naughty Words)

You've all seen, if you've been here for any length of time, my links to stuff that which I did when it appears here and there on the Intertoobz. I've written since I was 16 years old, and the virus, such as it is, shows no sign of leaving. It is my dream to make my daily bread with words, but I haven't made enough to buy a three day old cracker thus far. Thus putting me in the same boat with hundreds of thousands of others.

Herewith, writing notes and sites and stuff that is, as @youngamerican puts it, awesome.

These people are crazy. I'm no one to talk, but they are crazy. Apparently a bunch of Canadians (you know how they are) have this contest wherein, over the Labor Day Weekend, you write a novel. Yes, a novel-Midnight Friday-Midnight Monday. No remorse, no regret. Next year, I plan to take a shot at it. We'll see.

There's NaNoWriMo, every November. This will be my sixth year trying, and my first year after having "won". "Winning" NaNo is just submitting a document that is 50000 words or more. It doesn't have to be good, it just has to be that long. (It's on the honor system, but I can't imagine anyone cheating it. What for?) I've been thinking for the last couple of months what I should write when it's NaNo time, and I am stuck for ideas.

@OrdinaryArt still rocks my world, as does @GretchenCello and @sleepsnortfuck. Last site, as always, NSFW. Don't forget Fuck Yeah, Hemingway, with quotes, and notes, and stuff about the Master HisOwnSelf.

RIP Robert Schimmel (Very NSFW)

Comedian Robert Schimmel has passed away after being in an auto accident yesterday. While quite blue at times, Schimmel was very, very funny, and will be missed. The following clip features a young Schimmel at Dangerfield's. Very NSFW.

Rock N Roll Friday: Quick, Before It's Saturday!

Janera's contribution to World Culture, Rock N Roll Fridays, is up here, and involves the pride of Washington, Nirvana.


1. ALL APOLOGIES
I wish I was like you
Easily Amused
Find my nest of Salt
Everything is my fault.

Is there a very popular form of entertainment most other people enjoy that does not amuse you?





Oh my, yes. Reality TV.





2. COME AS YOU ARE
Come doused in mud, soaked in bleach, as I want you to be.
As a trend, as a friend, as an old memory. Aahhh.

What is the worst beauty or health product or regime you have ever tried?




Slim Fast. Tastes fine, but doesn't replace a meal in any way.




3. DUMB
We’ll float around
And hang out on clouds
Then we’ll come down
And have a hangover.

What is your mind-bender of choice?




Caffeine. It's as hard core as I get.





4. DON’T WANT IT ALL
He had removed us
All the styles of heresy
Finally he appeared unexpectedly
Looking for the company.

Who in your family would you like to see more of?



All of them. I don't go see them enough.




5. HALF THE MAN I USED TO BE
I’m half the man I used to be
This feeling as the dawn
It fades to gray.

What part of your physical body has changed the most in the past 10 years?


I really don't know. Probably my hair.







6. HEART SHAPED BOX
She has me like a Pisces when I am weak
I’ve been locked inside your heart shaped box for weeks.

Do you resemble the attributes of your birthsign?



Yes. But they are so vaguely worded, everyone does.




7. LITHIUM
Sunday morning is every day for all I care.
And I’m not scared.
Light my candles in a daze cause I found god.

If you are a spiritual person, what is your favorite ritual or part of church service?


The Lord's Prayer. There's something special about knowing that essentially the same words have been said by believers for thousands of years.





8. RAPE ME
Hate me. Do it and do it again.
Waste me, rape me my friend.

What rebellious act have you committed?




I really haven't.





9. LOVE GUN
I really love you baby. I love what you’ve got.
Let’s get together we can get hot.
No more tomorrow baby, time is today.
Girl I can make you feel okay.

What is your favorite first date activity?



Probably the movies, I guess. I don't know. My wife doesn't let me date.




10. SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT
With the lights out, it’s less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us.
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us.

Would you rather go to a movie, a concert, or the theater?



Money no object? Concert.





11. STAIN
Well he never bleeds and he never fucks
And he never leaves cuz he’s got bad luck
Well he never reads and he never draws
And he never sleeps cuz he’s got bad luck.

What are you afraid to try for fear of failure?










Tomorrow.





12. OH ME
I can’t see the end of me
My whole expanse I cannot see
I formulate infinity
And store it deep inside of me.

What will you be doing when you are 75 years old?





Being digested by worms.



13. ABOUT A GIRL
I’m standing in your line.
I do hope you have the time
I do pick up number 2
I do keep a date with you.

Have you considered (or when you were single), having a one night stand?


Not really. Never had an offer to, truthfully.

My Goodness! Robby Krieger & Ray Manzarek with Daryl Hall-"Break On Through"

Friday Flash 55: Storm Front

Your friend and mine, Mr. Know It All, hosts the Friday Flash 55 here. My entry this week is called "Storm Front".






It’s going to rain. The air feels heavy, pregnant with violence and trouble.

The sea churns madly, a distant storm promising menace.

She said she’d be right back, just milk, bread and cheese. That’s all.

How long could the checkout line be?

She’ll be back soon. I’m sure of it.

Where would she go, right?