August 22, 2006
Noon
Your grandmother is making lunch for Rick and I. That is nice of her. She really didn’t have to do that, because I was perfectly capable of making lunch for Rick and I, but it is nice to not have to do it. Rick calls her Mom-Mom. I wonder if you will call her that, too? Mom-Mom feels that, if she is home, she has to cook for us. She doesn’t, but that is the way she was raised.
I am listening to a fantasy baseball show on my XM radio. I sent your Mom an invitation for your Dad to join a fantasy football league I started on Yahoo. I don’t know if he will or not. It’s okay either way. He probably has his own. Fantasy sports are silly, I guess, but men find them interesting diversions.
Fantasy sports are something that started almost 30 years ago, when a group of men got together in a restauraunt in New York City called La Rotisserie Francaise. They invented a game where the fantasy players draft major league players and when the players do something good, like a hit or a home run, the fantasy player gets points. After starting as a baseball thing, it has expanded to football, golf, basketball, hockey, NASCAR-anything you can possibly imagine. I don’t take it that seriously, but it is a fun diversion.
Every day, you’re growing a little bit bigger and stronger. It’s so wierd to imagine you are growing inside of another person-that is something that men will never, ever understand.
You will be my second nephew or niece, it turns out. (I keep thinking of you as a girl. That isn’t fair at all. Nobody knows if you are a boy or a girl, not even you.) My brother, Chris, has a daughter, who is named Savannah. She is four, I think. I don’t remember. I have trouble remembering ages, for some reason.
Some time last week she (Savannah) was having a real tantrum, and my Mom, who is Rick’s grandmother and your grandmother in law, I guess, was having a lot of trouble getting her to go to bed. Apparently, voices were raised, and they got so loud they called the police. That was very embarassing for my Mom, but Savannah eventually calmed down and went to bed. My Mom already raised 3 children, and its hard for her to have to raise Savannah, too. But my brother Chris has to work, and Savannah’s Mom lives in another state, so she is left with my Mom to take care of her. One of the hardest things to learn in life is that kids wind up paying the price for some of the dumb decisions that adults make.
I don’t think I will have any trouble remembering your age. I hope I will see a lot of you, on weekends and holidays and Christmas and all that stuff.
The Red Sox lost 5 games straight to the Yankees at Fenway Park. That’s pretty bad. They probably aren’t going to win the division or make the playoffs this year. That hurts a little bit, but at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter all that much. Sports is fun, but it’s only a game, only something to amuse people. The Red Sox are young, so I think they will be better next season or the season after.
Tom Glavine, who grew up in Massachusetts one town over from where I grew up, is a pitcher for the New York Mets and had a big scare over the weekend with blood clots in his shoulder. That is scary stuff, not just for baseball reasons but for life reasons. He seems to be okay, the news says today. That’s good. Tom Glavine is probably going to go into the Hall of Fame, and I’m glad it seems like he will be alright, and he’ll probably have a chance to win 300 games in his career.
Very few pitchers, in the 130 years of major league baseball, have won that many, so it is quite an accomplishment. I can tell you something about most of them, pretty much-I have a lot of baseball stories and anecdotes in my head. I hope, even if you are a girl, that you’ll like baseball and want to listen to them. But if you don’t, that’s okay too.
Pitchers with 300 career wins, or more, entering the 2006 season:
Cy Young-Won 511 games. “Cyclone” because a ball he threw destroyed a fence.
Walter Johnson-Pitched for very poor Washington teams. Also a good hitter.
Christy Mathewson-Named “Big Six” after a famous fire engine.
Grover Cleveland Alexander-named after president,was played by a president in a movie
Warren Spahn-greatest lefty who ever lived.
Kid Nichols-threw a changeup. Became an umpire after he retired.
Pud Galvin-like Radbourn
Tim Keefe-like Radbourn
Roger Clemens-great fastball and great control. 5 Cy Youngs.
Steve Carlton-great slider, pitched mostly for Philadelphia.
John Clarkson-like Radbourn, pitched a long time ago.
Eddie Plank-called “Gettysburg Eddie” because he went to Gettysburg College.
Nolan Ryan-threw very, very hard. Not very good control, though. 7 no hitters.
Don Sutton-had a reputation for defacing the ball, which wasnt legal, either.
Phil Neikro-threw knuckleballs
Greg Maddux-still pitching. Great control. Very smart pitcher.
Gaylord Perry-known for throwing a spitball, which was not legal at the time.
Tom Seaver-very good fastball, very smart pitcher
Old Hoss Radbourn-pitched a long, long time ago, when teams had only 1 or 2 pitchers
Mickey Welch-called “Smiling” Mickey Welch
Early Wynn-Once said he’d knock down his grandma if she came to bat against him.
Lefty Grove-from Lonacoming, Pennsylvania.
I’m starting to read another book, “The Brooklyn Follies” by Paul Auster. It’s really good. I hope you’re a reader. I hope, with your Mom’s influence, and mine, and Aunt Debbie’s, we can make you a reader. As with all good books, much of this story seems to apply to me directly.
It’s about an older man who has recovered from lung cancer, and he has decided to try and write a book called “The Book of Human Folly”, describing every mistake he made and dumb thing he said throughout his life. He loves reading, of course, and he has discovered a long lost cousin of his working at a used book store.
“ ‘You think I’m joking,’ I said, ‘but I’m giving it to you straight. The pearls of my wisdom. A few pointers after a lifetime of toiling in the trenches of experience. Con men and tricksters run the world. Rascals rule. And do you know why?’
‘Tell me, Master. I’m all ears.’
‘Because they’re hungrier than we are. Because they know what they want. Because they believe in life more than we do.’
‘Speak for yourself, Socrates. If I wasn’t so hungry all the time, I wouldn’t be carrying around this giant gut.’
‘You love life, Tom, but you don’t believe in it. And neither do I.’ “
That is so true it makes me want to cry. There are people who make life happen, and there are people who let life happen to them. I am the second kind of person, and so is your Aunt Debbie. Your Mom, I think, is the first kind. Although being a parent makes you feel like the second kind of person a lot.
It’s not just being a con man (or woman) -it’s about wanting something from life and going out and getting it. I don’t have the strength to do that.
August 27, 2006
Afternoon
Another Sunday afternoon.
I don’t know why I keep talking about myself. I guess that’s all that I know about-myself, and my life. I wish I knew more about life, what to avoid, what not to do, what not to miss. But, to a certain extent, I can’t prevent you making mistakes. Everyone has to relearn certain things, and experience heartache, and disappointment, and rudeness. It happens to everyone.
Life here, at your grandparents’ house, is kind of just falling into its usual rhythm. Most people are sleeping, Rick is going from room to room, turning on TVs, then going to the next room and turning on another one. He does that. I know that Rick tends to get bored sometimes, and I haven’t done very much to help the problem.
The thing that I can’t figure out is how to retain my own personal life, while also working hard to be Rick’s parent. He needs so much- all children do-and I don’t know how to give it while still being a person, and doing a couple of things that I enjoy.
Don’t have children until you’re ready-that’s one sure thing I can tell you.
Be careful what you wish for, because you might get it.
I have always wanted to be a writer, ever since I was in high school. I have written, off and on, ever since then. Now and then I can get someone to agree to publish it in various places, sometimes online, sometimes not. I never get paid for anything, but the dream lives on. I keep having ideas for stories, especially when I’m at work and should be concentrating on that, but I seldom actually work on anything. I read a lot-probably too much. I read more than I interact with people, really. Stories, and novels, and nonfiction. I don’t read much poetry, except for Henry Rollins.
Your Mom actually introduced me to Henry Rollins, something for which I will be eternally grateful. He’s a musician and a poet, along with being a spoken word artist and author. His books and CDs of his performances are brilliant-funny, and jagged, and true. I might never have discovered him if not for your Mom and her friend Paul.
Paul has been friends with your Mom and Aunt Debbie, off and on, for years. He has known Rick since he was a baby, and hopefully he will meet you, too. He doesn’t come around much any more. He’s a good man. He’s had some problems, but he’s a good man.
I was starting to get a headache, so I closed my eyes and slept for about 15 minutes. Now, I feel much better. That’s another good idea-sleep whenever you can. Don’t miss a chance to sleep. Life in America these days involves a lot of things that you have to do-we’re all very, very busy and we don’t sleep enough. I sure don’t.
Other than doing this, I don’t write very much. I write about sports sometimes, and I write in my blog, but I don’t tackle fiction topics very often any more.
I’m listening to the Red Sox again, and they are losing, again. They have lost two in a row to the Mariners, and the possibility of getting into the playoffs seems more and more remote these days. That’s okay. I am too tired to get all that upset about it. They’re young, and I think they are going to get better.
I have a tough week of work ahead. Next Monday is Labor Day, and whenever there is a holiday like that, we have a lot of people who seem to panic and think they need to rush in and get a bunch of medicine. It’s silly, really-no one can plan ahead. A failure to plan is suddenly my fault. I hate that about people.
That’s another rule- be nice to people. Especially people who are bringing you food, or filling your prescription, or taking care of you when you’re sick. Everyone is human, and they deserve some kind of respect. I try really hard to be nice to people, even when they are not so nice to me. But it is not easy.
“ ‘[D]on’t walk in front of cars take care and be good and don’t hurt or be hurt and don’t live in a way that makes you feel dead and don’t betray anybody or yourself and take care of what matters...’”
Zadie Smith, “On Beauty”