The Tools Of The Trade That Isn't Even Really My Trade (Contains Naughty Words)

You've all seen, if you've been here for any length of time, my links to stuff that which I did when it appears here and there on the Intertoobz. I've written since I was 16 years old, and the virus, such as it is, shows no sign of leaving. It is my dream to make my daily bread with words, but I haven't made enough to buy a three day old cracker thus far. Thus putting me in the same boat with hundreds of thousands of others.

Herewith, writing notes and sites and stuff that is, as @youngamerican puts it, awesome.

These people are crazy. I'm no one to talk, but they are crazy. Apparently a bunch of Canadians (you know how they are) have this contest wherein, over the Labor Day Weekend, you write a novel. Yes, a novel-Midnight Friday-Midnight Monday. No remorse, no regret. Next year, I plan to take a shot at it. We'll see.

There's NaNoWriMo, every November. This will be my sixth year trying, and my first year after having "won". "Winning" NaNo is just submitting a document that is 50000 words or more. It doesn't have to be good, it just has to be that long. (It's on the honor system, but I can't imagine anyone cheating it. What for?) I've been thinking for the last couple of months what I should write when it's NaNo time, and I am stuck for ideas.

@OrdinaryArt still rocks my world, as does @GretchenCello and @sleepsnortfuck. Last site, as always, NSFW. Don't forget Fuck Yeah, Hemingway, with quotes, and notes, and stuff about the Master HisOwnSelf.

RIP Robert Schimmel (Very NSFW)

Comedian Robert Schimmel has passed away after being in an auto accident yesterday. While quite blue at times, Schimmel was very, very funny, and will be missed. The following clip features a young Schimmel at Dangerfield's. Very NSFW.

Rock N Roll Friday: Quick, Before It's Saturday!

Janera's contribution to World Culture, Rock N Roll Fridays, is up here, and involves the pride of Washington, Nirvana.


1. ALL APOLOGIES
I wish I was like you
Easily Amused
Find my nest of Salt
Everything is my fault.

Is there a very popular form of entertainment most other people enjoy that does not amuse you?





Oh my, yes. Reality TV.





2. COME AS YOU ARE
Come doused in mud, soaked in bleach, as I want you to be.
As a trend, as a friend, as an old memory. Aahhh.

What is the worst beauty or health product or regime you have ever tried?




Slim Fast. Tastes fine, but doesn't replace a meal in any way.




3. DUMB
We’ll float around
And hang out on clouds
Then we’ll come down
And have a hangover.

What is your mind-bender of choice?




Caffeine. It's as hard core as I get.





4. DON’T WANT IT ALL
He had removed us
All the styles of heresy
Finally he appeared unexpectedly
Looking for the company.

Who in your family would you like to see more of?



All of them. I don't go see them enough.




5. HALF THE MAN I USED TO BE
I’m half the man I used to be
This feeling as the dawn
It fades to gray.

What part of your physical body has changed the most in the past 10 years?


I really don't know. Probably my hair.







6. HEART SHAPED BOX
She has me like a Pisces when I am weak
I’ve been locked inside your heart shaped box for weeks.

Do you resemble the attributes of your birthsign?



Yes. But they are so vaguely worded, everyone does.




7. LITHIUM
Sunday morning is every day for all I care.
And I’m not scared.
Light my candles in a daze cause I found god.

If you are a spiritual person, what is your favorite ritual or part of church service?


The Lord's Prayer. There's something special about knowing that essentially the same words have been said by believers for thousands of years.





8. RAPE ME
Hate me. Do it and do it again.
Waste me, rape me my friend.

What rebellious act have you committed?




I really haven't.





9. LOVE GUN
I really love you baby. I love what you’ve got.
Let’s get together we can get hot.
No more tomorrow baby, time is today.
Girl I can make you feel okay.

What is your favorite first date activity?



Probably the movies, I guess. I don't know. My wife doesn't let me date.




10. SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT
With the lights out, it’s less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us.
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us.

Would you rather go to a movie, a concert, or the theater?



Money no object? Concert.





11. STAIN
Well he never bleeds and he never fucks
And he never leaves cuz he’s got bad luck
Well he never reads and he never draws
And he never sleeps cuz he’s got bad luck.

What are you afraid to try for fear of failure?










Tomorrow.





12. OH ME
I can’t see the end of me
My whole expanse I cannot see
I formulate infinity
And store it deep inside of me.

What will you be doing when you are 75 years old?





Being digested by worms.



13. ABOUT A GIRL
I’m standing in your line.
I do hope you have the time
I do pick up number 2
I do keep a date with you.

Have you considered (or when you were single), having a one night stand?


Not really. Never had an offer to, truthfully.

My Goodness! Robby Krieger & Ray Manzarek with Daryl Hall-"Break On Through"

Friday Flash 55: Storm Front

Your friend and mine, Mr. Know It All, hosts the Friday Flash 55 here. My entry this week is called "Storm Front".






It’s going to rain. The air feels heavy, pregnant with violence and trouble.

The sea churns madly, a distant storm promising menace.

She said she’d be right back, just milk, bread and cheese. That’s all.

How long could the checkout line be?

She’ll be back soon. I’m sure of it.

Where would she go, right?

Self Aggrandizement: More Than Just A Job, It's An Adventure

Here lies another story by yours truly. Like many things, it is a melange of people and places and situations, some true, some invented.

I'm actually a little proud of it. I think it has a nice solid feel to it. It's not true, but I've been in situations like that.

If you write, the 52/250 Project is open to everybody, and you can find the guidance for how to submit here.

Game 134: Through The Long Night

Last night in Baltimore, the Red Sox got a 5 run second inning, then hung on through the long night, surviving the inevitable Dice K Blow Up Inning (TM) to pull out a 6-4 victory.

Game 133: Another Bulls^&t Night In Charm City

Last night in Charm City, Jon Lester had another tough day at the plant, but 7th inning homers from Scu Scu Scutaro and Yo Adrian helped bail him out of danger in a 9-6 win over the Baltimores.

The 100 Word Challenge: The Ball In The Street

Velvet Verbosity's 100 Word Challenge, back where it once belonged , managed to go on without me for a whole week. So we're going to take care of that right now, with this week's entry, "The Ball In The Street".

“You’re stupid,” he says.

I know he doesn’t mean it. He is still a bundle of self centered need without any concept of other people. He’s playing with words, with people- seeing how far he can push, what the limits are.

“I don’t love you,” he says.

“That’s OK,” I say sweetly. “I love you.”

He doesn’t register my response. My response doesn’t matter, because his tricks aren’t working on me. My love for him is beyond comprehension, beyond reason. All that matters to me is, when the ball rolls into the street, his fingers seek mine.

Goodbye, Norma Jean

Janera's Wickedness this week is from the one and only Marilyn Monroe. 

1. "I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." When are you at your best?

I'm still waiting to be at my best. 
2. "Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring." Do you ever think that you are boring?

Only when I'm awake.
3. "A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left." Did you ever break off a relationship because you wanted to be the one to do it?`

No. I have done so for less than honorable reasons, however. 

4. "It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone." Do you feel that she is correct?

Positively. There's no need to drag another down with you if you don't have to. 

5. "Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?" What was the last thing that you didn’t plan on doing but then thought, “What the hell!”?

Probably seeing "Toy Story 3" the afternoon of the World Cup Final. 

6. "We should all start to live before we get too old. Fear is stupid. So are regrets." Do you have any major regrets?

Regrets. I've had a few. Then again? Too few to mention. 

7. "What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course." What do you wear to bed?

Depends on the season. T shirt with shorts or sweats.

8. "It’s better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what your not." Have you ever pretended to be someone you are not because it was easier?






Not that I can recall. 





9. "I am invariably late for appointments - sometimes as much as two hours. I've tried to change my ways but the things that make me late are too strong, and too pleasing." Are you usually on time for events or appointments?




Oh yes. I hold to Chris Rock's dictum-there's no early. You're on time, or you're late. 



10. "Keep smiling, because life is a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about." What makes you smile?




Two very close, very small relatives of mine. 

Game 132: Insult? I'd like you to meet Injury

In Baltimore tonight, Josh Beckett and the Red Sox were beaten. Not whipped, not scalded, not thrashed. Just beaten. That's all. Straightforward you're-better-than-we-are beating. 5-2, to the bleeding Orioles.

The season, long declared over, is well and truly dead and buried.

Party Over It's Out Of Time

Internet still down at the old homestead. Son starting to go into withdrawal. No Memes for you, party people. Try not to weep.

The Red Sox were off yesterday. I think. Without an Internet, I'm not sure if anything happened.

Phone losing strength. Send help. Better yet, send bits!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Game 131: Down and Out In Tampa Bay

Last night in Tampa, the Red Sox dropped the series finale, 5-3, with another subpar outing from John Lackey, combined with miserable offense from a sub AAA lineup. Also dropped were postseason hopes and dreams.


In other discouraging news, my Internet at home is out, so posting will be sporadic for a day or so. Try to soldier on without me.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Microfiction Monday: "Lost On The Way To Coolville"

It's Monday somewhere-like, in Europe, or something-so that means it's Microfiction Monday. Today's story is called "Lost On The Way To Coolville".

He doesn’t know where we are, I thought.

Belpre? That’s not near the beach!

He’s not going to ask, is he?

Oh well. At least he’s cute.

Games 128 and 129: One Team's Ceiling Is Another Team's Floor

On Friday night, Jon Lester was back to his old self, combing with the Bard of Avon and the Lord of the Dance for a 3 hitter in a 3-1 win over the Naughty Fish. On Saturday, things turned the other way, Scott Atchison surrendering a game winning homer to Tampa's Dan Johnson for a 3-2 loss. The third game of the series is tonight.