"While looking for change in my jacket pocket, I pull out a piece of paper which, to my consternation, reads as follows:
WARNING: NOT EVERYONE IS SUITED TO HAVING AN AFFAIR. THEY (sic) ARE NOT AN ALTERNATIVE TO WORKING ON OR ENDING A MARRIAGE. AFFAIRS CAN DAMAGE A GOOD MARRIAGE. ALWAYS CONSIDER OTHER PEOPLE AND IF YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE AN AFFAIR, PLEASE SELECT YOUR PARTNER WISELY.
Underneath this psychic health warning was the address of a website which, presumably, will help to undercut much of the above advice, just as cigarettes undercut the health warnings on the packets. I turned the piece of paper over and found that I was actually holding a simple London taxi receipt. Blimey."
From Nick Hornby's blog (nickhornby.campaignserver.co.uk)
Like Hornby, my response to this is mostly, uh...what?
It is certainly true that an affair is not an alternative to working on, and perhaps eventually ending, a marriage. I would say an affair can damage any marriage, not just a good one.
But the penultimate sentence is the last one-"select your partner wisely"? What the?
I don't have any patience for infidelity. I really don't. If you're having problems, you owe it to the other person to try and work it out. If it's broken, then you split up. But it is an act of profound disrespect and cowardice to run around on one's partner.
Well I simply have to agree 100 percent, Michael. Your wisdom is one of the reasons I like you. Your wife is another. And you are both funny.
ReplyDeleteRight on. Caitlin Flanagan wrote a piece in Time a few weeks back in which she said cheating on a spouse is never about sex, love, romance, or finding a soul mate. It's ultimately about how very little you care for or respect your spouse.
ReplyDeleteIndeed, Jeanne.
ReplyDeleteFalling out of love with your spouse and into love with someone else? It's a terrible thing, and undoubtedly painful for all involved. I sympathize with anyone who finds themselves there.
But you wait. You dissolve the bond with one person before taking up with another. You just do. Anything else is just selfishness and greed.
Well said, Michael. I'm no proponent of staying in a loveless marriage. We tell our teens to wait to have sex...this is a place where grown-ups could provide an example.
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