What Do I Want?

What do I want?

I've been asked this question a lot lately. I've been asking it of myself, and other people have asked it of me.

I have given lots and lots of different answers, most of them at least partially in jest.


-$252,000(I don't know why that particular number. It would solve a lot of problems, though. Arguably, the only problem it doesn't solve is "owing someone $253,000.")

-World Peace

-Musical talent(If I have longed for one thing that I do not have above all else, it is that. I love music and it frustrates me to no end that I can't produce it.)

-The ability to pursue my passions and earn a living while doing it.

-Overwhelming physical attractiveness

-For this dang cold to go away already.

Among other things.

NaNo starts tomorrow-really, tonight at midnight. I'm going to do it again. I don't know if I'll finish-writing all 50000 words in 30 days. Nobody does until they try. If what comes out is less than nauseating and plausibly editable, I may just clean it up and self publish it. (Rest assured, if you are a regular reader, you won't miss out. I will pimp it like mad.)

Gretchen Cello says she writes to "heal humanity with art". Given her outrageous talent, she probably could. Kelly at Ordinary Art would probably laugh at that. She says stories should be as big as people. Hemingway said writing was an obsession- the only thing that hurt worse than writing was not writing.

I don't know what I believe.

Scratch that.

To quote Crash Davis, I believe in "the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days."

I don't know what I want. I have never been entirely sure who I am. I don't know what the next 30 days are going to be like. I don't know who will win the election on Tuesday.

But I know the ball drops at midnight.

Nanowrimo.org

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