Wednesday, January 05, 2011

A Violent 100: "He Wouldn't Dare"

Velvet Verbosity is the progenitor of the 100 Word Challenge- accept no imitations! This week's word is "Stabbed", and my contribution is called "He Wouldn't Dare"







"Stabbed", she thought. You often hear it in reference to something else- "my headache feels like I'm being stabbed in the eye", or "I have these stabbing pains in my back". But that's not really right. Nothing feels like being stabbed. There's the pain. But there's the wrongness of it, also- it feels unusual, and vaguely not real- an experience far outside what you usually feel.

She looked at the handle of the knife, sticking out of her belly, then up at Roger. He had said he would, and he looked surprised that he actually had.

12 comments:

  1. Really good approach, Micheal. The last two lines, actually show the starkness of such an act. Way to go.

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  2. I was surprised at the end - Didnt see that one coming. Nice job! The eyes of the victim looking back at you ...... I wonder if the dude will have a Tell Tale Heart moment afterward!

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  3. Ouch. Well done. Very nice twisty ending.

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  4. Wonderful treatment of the theme. Nice surprise at the end.

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  5. I love the last two lines, the shock of it. Great job!

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  6. This was great! Terrific ending!

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  7. I really like this, and the ending is awesome.

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  8. Wow. Just wow. So striking, so visceral. This is an image that lingers not only in the mind but also in my body. I can ALMOST feel it. Well done.

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  9. wow! I work in the DV field - this is a stark and very real image. Thanks. (I think - no, really - thanks)

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  10. I also was caught off-guard at the ending. But I think my favorite part is the rhyme in the middle.

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  11. I have a feeling that element of surprise on both sides is a real experience for some in that situation. Heat of the moment kind of thing.

    How awful, how tragic, how visceral.

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