Velvet Verbosity's 100 Word Challenge is proud to announce that it does not recieve one dime of Federal funding and will not be a victim of government cutbacks. This week's word is "Forward", and my story is "Protect This House".
James looked down, breathing hard. James knew his role from the first time he strapped on skates. He showed his worth in the corners, doing the dirty work, checking and being checked, letting the glamour boys soak up the goals. Being a fourth line forward, you hit who they say to hit, fight when they say to fight. He was as gentle as a March breeze with his twin girls, but in order to keep the paychecks that fed his daughters coming in, he had to make his living, and to do that, he had to dole out the misery.
Nice! I hadn't thought of the noun use of the word ...
ReplyDeleteGood use of the prompt. I like the juxtaposition of his job versus his role as dad.
ReplyDeleteThis was well done. I love the imagery of the tough hockey player who will kick some ass if needed compared to the loving father who wants the best for his girls.
ReplyDeleteOne niggling thing at the beginning was you repeated his name to begin two sentences in a row. Perhaps change one to "He"?
Good piece! I like it. Also - Carrie has good feedback, although I didn't notice that when I read through your entry.
ReplyDeleteWow - I loved this piece! Hockey is such an amazing sport, and so few people know much about it... I really appreciated how you brought it so sharply into focus, real focus. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant!!, I had never thought that the prompt could be used in such a way
ReplyDeleteLove that last line. Especially the ending, "dole out the misery." Great work.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad someone wrote a hockey piece! :P I was going to until I was otherwise inspired. Loved that you described the player to much in so few words.
ReplyDelete"gentle as a March breeze with his twin daughters". Great line, and I too loved how you played the juxtaposition, the way he can compartmentalize in order to take care of his family.
ReplyDelete