[For the Scriptic prompt exchange this week, kgwaite gave me this prompt: "Run away home". I gave Sinistral Scribblings this prompt: "I'm so tired".]
{I may be completely off the mark here, but this is poetry. I guess? Maybe? Whatever it is, it's called "What I heard.")
What I didn't hear:
"He's no good for you."
"You're too young."
"You're just doing this to spite us."
"He's not going to stop drinking."
"Having a baby won't fix him."
"Watch him? Again?"
"When are you coming back?"
What I heard:
"Why don't you shut up?"
"Get away from me."
"Make that kid stop crying."
"Leave me? You wouldn't dare."
"I only drink when you're bitchy."
"He would be better off without you."
The sound of sirens on the onramp.
i love it, very thought-provoking.
ReplyDeletewhat about, as a suggestion:
what i never heard
and
what i did hear
just makes the point a little stronger.
if i were you, i'd jettison the quotation marks. makes it hard to read and it's obvious that's what they are, especially if you indented the first line of each stanza, or added a line after, or otherwise set it apart.
why on earth do you have that stupid adult-content warning on your blog?? take that shit off!
(and those are my thoughts.) (xo.)
Three times... I like it. (hitting post and running cuZ the cyber trolls are active tonight)
ReplyDeleteI like this a lot - What we choose to hear and what we choose not to hear...Great piece.
ReplyDeleteThat prompt came from the fact that I'm moving (with my family...I'm not running away!) back home.