Monday, October 21, 2013

VV 100WC: More NaNo-ish goodness

{Velvet Verbosity's 100 Word Challenge, who has a slightly better command of the strike zone than Yasiel Puig, offers up "invincible" this week. I reply with another potential NaNo fragment.}

My brother smiled at me as his son tugged on my hand.

"Unca! Come see! Unca! Come see!," the boy kept saying.

"You still with her?," he said, his voice dripping with condescension.

I pictured Em, the red flush coating her cheeks as tears made tiny pale tracks down her face. We had a screaming match before I left, and I wasn't positive I was welcome back.

"Yes," I said.

He looked down at me, as I leaned to one side, his judgment clear, his pride in his perfect family and beautiful house invincible and pure.

"I see," he said.


  1. There's some good tension in this one. It would be worth considering going with this story.

  2. Ah, the wonderful world of sibling arrogance.

  3. I love the dialogue in this. Very good.


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