Games Forty Nine and Fifty: And Then This Happened.

Just when all seemed rosy and bright, the Royals come along and spoiled the party. Boston has dropped 2 straight to the men from Missouri, a 4-3 nailbiter on Thursday followed by a 12-5 loss that tasted like chewing a rusty nail on Friday. They go tonight against the Lawnmower Man, Zack Grienke, so it could be three in a row by the end of the evening. Meanwhile, in the division race they are allegedly participating in, they remain, remarkably, 6 1/2 games off the pace and in fourth place.

Joe West is a Joke

Joe West is a joke.

Umpire Joe West made news last month when he criticized both the Yankees and Red Sox for their slow play-and yesterday, he ejected both White Sox pitcher Mark Buerhle and manager Ozzie Guillen for questioning his balk call.

The Guillen call is somewhat acceptable- you're not supposed to question a balk call, which depends on the umpire's judgement. But first of all-both balk calls, based on the rules, seem fishy. And to eject Buerhle for dropping his glove-that's really unacceptable. Someone has got to make it clear to West that he is not bigger than the game, and he should start calling the game according to the rules in the book.

Game 48: It's a Killer Sweep...

Tonight in Tampa, the Red Sox busted out the proverbial whupping stick, blowing Tampa halfway to Key West with an 11-3 win behind a pair of homers from Yo Adrian Beltre and a single homer from I Like It When You Call Me Big Papi. The Red Sox go home to face Kansas City tomorrow.

Game Forty Seven: Another Clean Sheet, as the Futbol Folks Say

Jon Lester and the Three Amigos (Delcarmen, Bard, and Papelbon) held the mighty Rays to one lonely hit over nine innings, while David Ortiz' double brought in the only runs Boston would need in a 2-0 whitewashing of Tampa last night. The team is now 26-21, 6 1/2 games out of first, and is hotter than a Phoenix sidewalk in August. They play the Rays one more time today, and then go home for four games against the Royales with Cheese.

Game Forty Six: Don't Tell Mom, The Red Sox Are Hot!

The Red Sox, now winners of 6 out of 7, beat Tampa Bay 6-1 last night behind stout hearted pitching from Cowboy Clay and homers from Youk and David Ortiz.

Well whaddaya know? We've got a hot baseball team on our hands!

It's Brand New! That Means It's Better! Right?

This is a remarkable project. On May 2, the New York Times invited people all over the world to take photos of...well, all sorts of things. Dogs, and birds, and people, and bridges, and all sorts of things. It's remarkable to look at, and a great time suck, as if we needed more of those.

***

On Wednesday, I leave on a 48 hour journey to Williamsburg, Virginia, to chaperone my son's school trip. If you had any lingering doubts about my sanity, that should resolve them.

***

I've been commenting over here, Steven Goldman's non-baseball blogplace, but I feel the same way I tend to feel when I blog on things political here-just a kind of nauseous aggravation. If I want that, I'll go to work.

***

Speaking of work, our Brand New Program is rolling out steadily, which means lots and lots of more work, with no extra pay. Not to mention that wages are frozen until 2011 at the earliest, with future increases to come based on the success of the Brand New Program. Now, naturally, you would assume with a Brand New Program that dramatically increases my workload, I'd be getting a machine, or a new process, or some new people, right? In order to ensure that the Brand New Program is a success?

You'd think that. But you'd be wrong.

Look, I have a job. I get it. Lots and lots of people don't. I try to remind myself that I'm not deathly ill (yet), and that 99.999% of the people who live or have ever lived would dance with glee if given the prospect of living my life. I haven't had to go to war, or expel a baby through an orifice that doesn't seem big enough, or bury anyone (lately), or be assaulted, or get in a car accident, or be committed to a mental institution. Yet.

I get it, I'm blessed.

But the same way I can see that my immediate coworkers appreciate me, or the same way I see my family accepts me, warts and all, or the same way I can know my wife loves me and not comprehend any of it, I know I am blessed-intellectually-I can do the math. As humans go, generally speaking, I have it pretty close to perfect.

I just don't feel it. I don't grok it. I'm not getting it on the level where it sinks in.

You dig?

Game Forty Five: To My Everlasting Shock, We Win Again

Today at Citizens Bank Park, the Red Sox beat Roy Halladay and the Phils pretty heavily, pulling off an 8-3 win to send them into Tampa Bay at 24-21 on the year, 8 1/2 games out of first place.

Games 41-44: I Failed To Get The Role of Mustard, So Therefore

I'm Playing Ketchup.

(Badoomp-boomp-crash!)

Through a combination of despair, fatigue, and apathy, I haven't blogged in several days.

So, out of a sense of completeness more than anything, the Red Sox pulled off a couple of Twin wins over Minnesota, 3-2 on Wednesday and 6-2 on Thursday. John Lackey was found lacking on Friday in Philadelphia, losing 5-1, but Dice K was beyond brilliant on Saturday, throwing 8 innings of one hit ball at the mighty Phils in a 5-0 win. Tim "Good Luck With That" Wakefield takes the hill for Boston today against mighty Doc Halladay of the Phils.

Every Blog Writer's Best Friend

A Meme!

Thanks to Janera, Wednesday brings us a Meme-Ten Questions, All Derived From Statements By The Queen Of Soul, Aretha Franklin.








1. "Trying to grow up is hurting, you know. You make mistakes. You try to learn from them, and when you don't, it hurts even more.” Do you think you always learn from your mistakes?


No. I wouldn't repeat them if I did.


2. “I might be just twenty-six, but I'm an old woman in disguise... twenty-six goin'on sixty-five.” Have you ever felt that you were either older or younger, for your age at that time?


I have always felt, and I continue to feel, older than I am.


3. “I think the hardest thing is losing weight. That's the hardest thing more than anything else.” Have you had trouble losing weight?


Constantly. Although, honestly, I don't think I have tried all that hard. Currently, I am attempting to exercise on a consistent basis. So far, it has lasted almost 3 months.


4. "Being a singer is a natural gift." Do you have any natural gifts?


Not that I know of. Maybe I have a superpower or something.


5. "I always felt rock and roll was very, very wholesome music." What the most
"wholesome" rock artist that you like?


I would have to say Billy Joel. In his entire catalog, there is exactly one word that you can't say on television. (It's in the song "Laura", in case you're wondering.)


6. "I sing to the realists; people who accept it like it is." Are you a realist?


In a sense. I feel like I'm being forced to be, in a way. I wish things could be otherwise, but I try not to think how I wish it would be, because there's not much point in it.


7. "No one loves a party more than I. I am a people person." Do you like to party or are you more of a homebody?


Homebody. No doubt.


8. "I'm gonna make a gospel record and tell Jesus I cannot bear these burdens alone." Do you feel the need to share your burdens?


No. I pathologically fail to share.


9. "I'm the lady next door when I'm not on stage." Do you know the lady next door? (yes, you can pick either side.)


Nope. Neither side. My wife knows one neighbor, but neither of us know the other one.


10. "I never felt inferior or less than. I was blessed to grow up in a environment where self-worth was underscored." Do you ever feel inferior?


Only on days that end in "Y".

Shelled

It's 100 Word Challenge Time again. The word is "sanitary", and the title of this one is "Shelled".











I peeled the long, white socks off, and let them fall to the floor. I was raised better than that, but after all these years, it was a habit. Someone was paid to pick them up. My day was over, but the game went on without me. Above me, the crowd roared, then quieted, sounding like the ocean. Another failed outing. I cared whether or not we won-I had been at this too long not to-but I cared distantly, the way I cared about pesticides or terrorism. They call the socks sanitaries-my day had been so short they still were.

Game 40: Back From The Brink

Last night, after a rain delay and having starter Josh Beckett rendered hors de combat with back woes, the Red Sox trailed 5-0 before storming back with four runs in the 8th and 2 in the 9th off of the Great Mariano (TM) to pull out a 7-6 win over the Yankees in New York.

Jonathan Papelbon did give up another 9th inning run, but did extinguish the rally with the tying run on third to earn a save, his tenth of the year.

Nuns and Pirates

Thanks to @nerdist 's podcast, I heard one of the funniest comedy songs I've ever heard, a song by Paul and Storm called "Mother's Day Song", that you can listen to here. Hysterically funny, but very very NSFW.

***

One of the worst things about last night's loss was the reversal effect. (The Red Sox are losing tonight's game as of this writing, but I'm still mad about last night.) I've written off the season-this team isn't going anywhere. But after clawing all the way back, I was having a nice, relaxed feeling of satisfaction-if we can't win, at least we can poke the Yankees and bother them a little bit. It's kind of like what the Kansas Citys of the world do-once in a while, they beat the contenders and ruin their day.

To have that yanked away is decidedly unpleasant.

Game 39: Not Just Losing

No, no, no. The Red Sox didn't just lose last night. What fun would that be? I mean, just losing is for common, ordinary, everyday baseball teams.

No, the more proper, Red Sox way to lose is first, have Dice K turn in a wretched starting performance and fall behind 5-0 IN THE FIRST INNING. Then, and only then, you claw your way back into the game, hitting home run after home run until you lead 9-7 in the bottom of the ninth inning.

After that, naturally, your All Universe closer, the indisputably arrogant and pouty faced Lord of the Dance Jonathan Papelbon, arguably the best pitcher on your team, gives up a game tying home run to Dallas Braden's BFF, Alex Rodriguez, and then a game winning shot to Marcus Thames.

I hate baseball.

Game 38: Getting Ready For The Yankees In More Ways Than One

The Red Sox lost the final game of the series in Detroit today, falling 5-1 to the Tigers. John Lackey was, well, lacking, and the Sox fell to 19-19 on the year. The Red Sox play the Yankees in New York tomorrow.

Sigh.

Game 37: I've seen bridges collapse with more dignity

Last night, the Red Sox built up another large lead, 6-1 after 5, except this time decided to give it back, 3 runs in the sixth and 2 in the 8th to tie, followed by our former friend Ramon Ramirez walking in the winning run in the twelfth inning, sinking Boston back down to 19-18 on the year. So we have an exhausted bullpen, one more game to play in Detroit Rock City, and then a trip into the Boogie Down to play the Yankees.


This should end well.