Farmer Jed Plows The Field

Unable to stand it anymore, I took to my bed, while the following transpired:

Boston takes a 2-0 lead on hits by Ellsbury and Our Man DP, his first hit of the series. Lester cruises, handing the lead to Okeydoke in the 8th. After two outs and a walk, Bat Masterson comes on, only to walk Guerrero, and then wild pitch the runners to second and third. (Bob Stanley? Will Bob Stanley please pick up the white courtesy phone?) Die Hard The Hunter knocks them in, and we're knotted at two.

But the wierdness is just beginning.

Scott Shields pitches a scoreless 8th, schooling Youkilis and Ortiz, and then Bat answers the bell for the ninth. Kendry Morales doubles smartly off the wall, the blindingly fast Reggie Willits coming on to run. Kendrick bunts Willits to third. Erick Aybar is next, and he squares around to bunt. The squeeze play.

BUT HE MISSES THE BUNT.

Jason Varitek, I'm sure feeling every day of his 36 years, chases the fleet Willits back up the line. He chases, and chases, and chases. Finally, as Willits is about to get to the bag, Varitek dives, and tags him, going, as my mother would put it, ass over teakettle, ball coming free. The umpire correctly rules that when the tag was made, the play was over, and the ball coming free on the ground is immaterial. Aybar is retired and we move on into the bottom of the ninth.

Shields strikes out Drew.

Jason Bay, the once and future king, sends an opposite field cue shot into short right. Willits, who was just involved in the wierdness at third base, comes in hard, dives, and just misses the ball, which conveniently hops into the seats for a ground rule double. (If it had stayed in the park, that would have been an easy inside the park homer, and a wierd entry in its own right.)

Mark Kotsay rips a ball down the line-pulverizes it, smokes it, hits it ON THE SCREWS.......RIGHT into the glove of Teixeira. Two out.

And then it's Farmer Jed, Our Jeddars, The Jedster, Dr. Jedosky-Jed Lowrie who lines a single into right field. Bay is off on the pitch, coming around third and to the plate. The throw is there, but it's just a hair late. Bay slides in headfirst, tagging the plate with his hand (Matt Holliday? Will Matt Holliday please pick up the white courtesy phone?) and the Boston Red Sox are in the American League Championship Series.

As the great Hunter S. Thompson used to say, when the going gets wierd, the wierd turn pro.