TEENAGE SUICIDE…DON’T DO IT
That, of course, is an imagined hit song from the movie “Heathers”. The joke, I assume, being someone (an adult,presumably) thought that promoting such a song might work at actually preventing teenage suicide. I have been having that thought a lot recently-looking at a marketing campaign or an advertising slogan and saying to myself, “Really? A group of sentient beings sat in a room and THIS was the best idea they had? How bad must second place have been?”
The same principle works for sporting events, too. Terry Francona sent up David Ortiz as a pinch hitter last night, replacing a guy who already had two hits with a guy who has given very little evidence he can hit anyone. Ortiz drew a walk, I guess sort of proving Francona’s point. But I still don’t see the reasoning. They lost anyway, so all the reasoning in the world doesn’t amount to much.
I just finished a book about suicide, so I guess it is inevitable that my thoughts turn to it now. Then again, the book before that was about owning a record store, (what a quaint notion THAT has turned out to be!) and the book before that was about professional soccer, and the book I am currently reading is about music. And I’m not thinking about any of those other things, so maybe it’s not so inevitable.
I don’t know if it still is, but they used to say that even thinking about suicide is a marker for suicidal behavior. I have always thought that was a bit of a crock. I don’t know how you not think about it-if only as a passing fancy, or as a theoretical revenge, or as a solution to a large credit card balance. Not to seriously contemplate it or plan for it, but you have to at least think about it, right? Camus, I think, once wrote that suicide is the first philosophical problem, and I think what he meant was, until you decide whether or not you’re going to get up tomorrow morning, all other problems pale in comparison.
Maybe I’m wrong. I’ve never been anyone else but me, so I don’t know what normal really is.
***
PERSON ON THE PHONE:(expressing surprise, I suppose, that I did not answer the phone within 2 rings.) You must be a little busy!
ME: (mock cheerfully)A little bit! (while inside my head, continuing, yeah, that and the fact that there are other people on Earth besides you!)
I really need a job where I can just sit somewhere and be smart and people give me money.
***
Kevin Smith, who would be my answer if asked, under penalty of bodily harm, the question, “who is your favorite director”, is making a live appearance in his hometown next month. It is reasonably near me, in the sense that I can drive there within an hour and a half or so. It turns out I’m working that day, but when I checked the page for tickets, they were $90. NINETY DOLLARS? Are you serious? I mean, the man deserves to be paid for his time, and you do get a copy of his book, but $90? Am I a completely out of touch old fogey?
The answer to that question, in my experience, similar to the questions, “Am I in the way?” and “Am I being a jerk?” is “Yeah.” If you have to ask, then the answer is “yeah, you are.”
***
Did you ever look at the people you are related to (either look at them rhetorically or look at them literally) and think, “who the hell are you people?”
Just remember they’re probably doing the same to you.
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Michael, you are the only person I know who can talk about Red Sox losing, suicide, needing a more rewarding job, the tragic people one is related to and still crack me up.
ReplyDeleteDropkick Murphys have a suicide song about the stupid reasons why some cheerleaders felt they had to kill themselves. They are all stupid reasons. But then, suicide is a pretty stupid idea as a solution period.
Having said that... I guess the silver lining might be that it does open the topic for conversation and perhaps resulting in someone knowing someone else is that unhappy.
Now, last... I don't know anyone who has not at one time or another had the morbid thought of what if I did... but it's a wonderful life.