Monday, January 21, 2013

Trifecta Writing Challenge: "Brake Job"




(My friends at the Trifecta Writing Challenge, who agree with Gary Cherone that there are Three Sides To Every Story, issued their usual challenge with a multipurpose word, "Bitch".)





She always smiled when she handed us the keys. She was a pert little blonde, with wide blue eyes and a trusting mouth. Everyone had a crush on her, I think, and fights nearly broke out to volunteer to drive her back to the huge house behind the iron gates. It wasn't her sporty little car this time, but instead his, the big muscular Audi, which needed new brakes.

I drove her home this time, taking her up the hill in a Chrysler that was nice enough, but looked out of place in front of her magnificent home. She frowned as she got closer to the front door, as if the house scared her. She never said it directly, but she certainly gave the impression she was unhappily married.

"You'll call when it's done?," she asked.

"Of course," I said. "And I'll come back and get you."

"I'd like that," she said, flashing some thigh as she got out of the car.

I drove back down the hill, wondering why someone so beautiful would stay in a bad relationship, musing about what a bitch brake jobs were and how easy it would be to do the job imperfectly.

17 comments:

  1. Oh... is there a nefarious plot brewing?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sounds like he's reading too much between the lines. That can spell disaster for all involved.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice! I wonder why people stay, myself. And I don't know tenwordstory, something I have been learning lately is that more people cheat than you would ever imagine.

      Delete
  3. there are lots of reason people stay in disfunctional relationships. It takes a lot . . . a LOT . . . to get the courage to leave and stay away.

    well done.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lots of juicy details that hint and a bigger picture and I loved the ending. An excellent read.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh! I like where this is going. A true femme fatale!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Loved the smell of mystery & dark thoughts brewing in this delectable plot-the last line ofc was a killer:-)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hmmmm... But who will drive the incorrectly repaired car back home?

    ReplyDelete
  8. She wouldn't happen to live on Mullholland Drive, would she?

    ReplyDelete
  9. ohh. plotting his demise. great story idea!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Loved this! I'm sure the blonde doesn't want him dead, but that could be the only thing that would free her---assuming it's as bad/worse than the mech himself is assuming...

    ReplyDelete
  11. ooooh interesting!! i'd love to read more- does he screw the brakes? does he screw the wife? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Intriguing. Sounds like the narrated opening to an old movie, like Double Indemnity. Nice work! Great mood.

    ReplyDelete

I apologize for making you sign in, but I'm trying to cut down on spam.