[ My three piece and a biscuit ordering friends at the Trifecta Writing Challenge give us a page (the 99th) from the OED, and offer us 99 words to wrap around one of the words thereupon, in honor of the 99th TWC. The following is something that may or may not be a fragment from the novel I may or may not write during National Novel Writing Month, which is absolutely positively happening in November. ]
"A baby?," I said. I could not disguise the disbelief in my voice.
"What?," Em said. She sounded hurt. I winced.
"I don't need to tell you how many ways that's a bad idea," I said.
"I know," she said. I could see the pout on her face, even in the darkness.
"But you want a baby?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"You need me to explain?"
"No."
I turned over. Her skin glowed slightly, the light from a power strip on the floor making everything look red.
"A baby with me?," I said.
"Of course," she said.
I swallowed.
Wonderful!
ReplyDeleteNice snapshot from the middle of a larger scene.
it really is an incredible moment, to come to that realization. A page everyone has to be "on", no?
ReplyDeleteI liked this, the writing was just right and the description of the power strip making everything red was a good one.
Great job straddling that ambiguity fence! lol
ReplyDeleteI like the voices.
Hey! #NaNoWriMo2013! I'm Massanes over there.
You captured the MC's astonishment perfectly - I could hear it in his voice!
ReplyDeleteOkay, like the suitcase in Pulp Fiction, what's the damn glow?
ReplyDeleteand why don't I comment more? You're one of my favorites writers, ever.
Great piece, dude...good luck to the sawx
Your dialogue is believable and true to life. I'm sure many, many couples have been in that space before. Thanks for being a part of our big 99th!
ReplyDeleteThe nuance of the power strip helped to bring an already well-crafted story to life.
ReplyDelete