In Baltimore, Boston trails 5-4 after 8 innings, though with Ortiz and Ramirez coming up. Josh Beckett got racked-11 hits in 5 2/3 innings. Manager Terry Francona is home with his family after the death of his mother in law.
There is a rumor afoot that my location may be shutting down, which makes me think a couple of different things, all at once:
1)Why not? They haven't given a shit about us for years.
2)I've been through this rumor-reassure-rumor cycle before, and I'm not going to believe any of it until they shut the damn door.
3)What the fuck? They give us nothing to work with, then complain when we can't do anything with it.
I'm just tired. I'm in a dark, hopeless place mentally. I'm tired of being alive.
Boston lost, 5-4. Beaten by the immortal Jeremy Guthrie, who throws about as hard as I do.
Why the hell not?
Michael - I keep thinking that I wish I had the good advice that you always have to hand out. The job thing is scary, or it would be for me. I hope that works out for you in the way that it needs to. I don't know the answers about wanting to live. I make crazy left and right turns sometimes to put myself in a different state of mind for a bit. But, I know about being in the stuck places and those are not fun. I wish you ways to get out of it...whatever they may be. I wish that for all of us that feel this way in our core.
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