Wednesday, May 14, 2008

War Paint

My very favorite Rush song from my very favorite Rush album. It came along at a time when I deeply believed in the lyrics to rock songs, and it perfectly suited my crusading soul.

I just discovered my wireless extends to the porch. I wasn't a sit on the porch kind of guy. I am now, I think.

It is a cool night, for May. All of May has been un-May like, temperature wise. It's not uncomfortable, just a pinch of cool to remind you that it aint summer yet.

"All puffed up with vanity
We see what we want to see..."

There are bugs around, so it isn't that cold.

Paul Simon, "America"

"Let us be lovers we'll marry our fortunes together..."

My high school English teacher quoted a lyric from this song when trying to make a point about imagery or something. "And the moon rose over an open field," was the line he used. I remember he was surprised that I knew the next line.

"I'm empty and I'm aching and I don't know why," was always my favorite line from that song. It was true then and it's still true today.

While buying an unnessescary snack this afternoon, I noticed that, if you were born the day I graduated from high school, you're about to turn 19. There was one of those signs showing the date you need to be born on or before in order to buy cigarettes, and I noticed the year was 1989.

I used to work at a small drugstore next to a cleaner (whose cashier I had a massive crush on), a sub shop, and a liquor store. Once in a while, I would buy a soda from the liquor store because they had a better selection than the sub shop. Or than the cleaners, I suppose. I remember looking at the sign they had indicating the date you had to be born on in order to buy alcohol. I remember following the date as it got closer and closer to my birthday. My mom took a picture of me next to the sign when it showed my birthday, finally.

The girl I had a crush on was named Megan. She was in my grade, technically, but way out of my league. I'm not sure we were even playing the same sport. She had lustrous dark brown hair, and, for reasons I couldn't discern, was definably older than everyone else. Big, sad eyes and a quiet manner, like she had seen things she didn't want to talk about. I remember clearly seeing an Ann Taylor credit card in her wallet when she opened it to buy a candy bar once, and I think of her every time I walk by an Ann Taylor store.


  1. Oh! I love the Megan story. Nice. I have a friend now who is so dear to me, but in high school he was way outta my league (my thought). He spoke six languages, was brilliant, knew everyone and got along with them. I was shy and kept to the corners. When we were older, in our late 20's, we worked together for a time and became great friends. And he told me that before he left for college, his mom was helping him clean out his room and found all these pictures of horses. And she asked him, "Jon, what are these? YOu never liked horses." and he said he told her, "Kym loved horses. I drew horses because Kym loved them." I would have never known that if we had not have crossed paths later in life. It's amazing how people affect your life without realizing it. I loved reading that. Thanks!

  2. It's funny how that "out of my league" thing comes along. She (Megan) was a perfectly nice person, she just had this aura. Even other girls didn't seem to care for her. It was this subtle feeling that she was beyond petty high school silliness-not through anything she did or said, just the way she was.

  3. And she had this kind of beauty that was stunning. You know how you see someone who is not just regular person beautiful, but model beautiful or actress beautiful? That kind of pretty. The kind of pretty that makes other girls jealous. The kind of pretty that would "make a preacher kick a hole in a stained glass window". (Raymond Chandler)

  4. She was other-worldly then. That's pretty fantastic.


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