A (wo)man, a plan, a canal, Panama?

The local and national media are having a litter of puppies around here about the Sweeten case, a local woman who called the police reporting she and her daughter had been kidnapped, then was found in Disney World(?). Now it turns out she allegedly embezzled money, and left a baby at home, and blah, blah blah, blah blah.

This story serves what has become the number one function of my local news, "At least I'm not THEM." Stories like this make you feel better about yourself because, well, at least you're not HER.

This makes me think of a larger point, which is: THAT was your plan? Really? You figured the police would look for you for about an hour, and then say, "Oh well, she's gone," and go back to writing parking tickets?

Now, stealing a bunch of money I can kind of understand. Who doesn't love money? (Cue Eric Idle: "There is nothing quite as wonderful as money...") But you have to think they're going to notice, right? The money's gone, and you're not answering your phone-they have to think something is up, here.

Obviously, the woman is disturbed, and I really do have pity for her. Her whole family is never going to look back at this and laugh.

But it just kind of bowls me over. THIS was your plan? Even criminals in the movies generally have an escape plan. Even deranged people, I thought, understand cause and effect. Maybe they don't-maybe they only understand cause and bananas.

This is a somewhat serious thing-besides giving basically everyone an excuse to cluck their tongues and say, "Can you believe this story?", while internally saying, "I may be screwed up, but at least I'm not HER", this is a story about a woman who was clearly under some pressure and made one of the epic fail choices of the year.

I may not be the most mentally together cat-but hey, at least I'm not Ms. Sweeten.