Steve at No More Mr. Nice Blog, on a New York Times piece about anxiety:
"Most of the time, though, the vast majority of Americans don't want to hear it if you feel any anxiety. Full speed ahead! Why are you being such a gloomy Gus ? You're worried that something could go wrong if we invade Iraq? You're afraid the housing boom could be a bubble? You have health insurance and don't have a serious illness and you're worried that if you have a really serious medical problem you might not still be insured, or might not be truly covered? Hey, enough! You're bumming us all out!"
Steve expresses something here I have felt for years, but have always had trouble giving a voice to.
I've always felt like I missed a memo somewhere along the way.
I have been living with what I like to call melancholia since I was approximately 15 years old. I have been this way for so long I cannot remember being any other way. It causes misery-buckets of it-but I think it makes me more sensitive, at the same time, and easier to live with. Whether or not I am easy to live with I will have to leave as an exercise to those who live with me.
I am a worrier. I don't take advantage of opportunities, I don't do things that are likely to be complicated. To borrow a title of a children's book, I am the Shark That Is Afraid Of Everything. I am this way to such an extent there are things that people do-attend horror movies, go to amusement parks-that not only do I never do, I cannot concieve of any possible way they would be enjoyable.
I have never run anything. I have never had to make my living based on my wits or my skills in any real way. That thought-being a salesman or running a business- terrifies me. I am constantly worrying that I'm not doing enough, that something is about to go wrong in my life.
Steve's notion, that it is this worrywartism that both may be genetic and may be the cause of my liberalism, explains a lot.
Maybe you are not a shark, Michael, and it's not a bad thing at all, you know?
ReplyDeleteI cannot open the link to the article you reference in the beginning, but anxiety has a positive role in our lives. It warns us against assorted dangers, and rash and irresponsible actions, for one.
Anxiety is a universal condition of being human, but in this country more so than in others. In the US, anxiety experienced by individuals is deepened by the cut-throat competition in too many areas of life, without enough social safety nets that would mitigate its negative influence. If that's any consolation, you're not alone in it.
Forget sharks. Who wants to be around them? There is nothing wrong with being a trout (for example, :)).
I appreciate that, Elizabeth. Thanks.
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