Josh Beckett pitched 7 strong innings of one run, two hit baseball, and the Red Sox worked around a hiccup from the Okey Doke. Bat Masterson and the Lord of the Dance closed it out, and it goes in the books as a 5-3 Boston win. Our Man DP, fresh off his video game commercial where EA Sports doubts his ability, shut up the critics with his first homer, while El Capitan managed to muscle one out as well.
Even though my doppelganger lost on Jeopardy, it's a good day.
You can't go 162-0 without going 1-0, and we, my friends, are 1-0.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Lady Day Got Diamond Eyes
One of my favorite songs, U2's "Angel of Harlem", which was written about Ms. Holliday.
Making The Fielder's Choice
Not Cecil, not even Prince.
On days when I work late, I have this choice to make. After dropping my complaining teen at school, I come back home at approximately 840 AM. Do I slip back under the warm, warm covers, turn on The West Wing, and reemerge at noon to dress and face the world? Or do I get up and try to be a grownup for once in this series of unfortunate events I call a life?
Obviously, I chose the latter. Sorta. I'm not, like, dressed or showered or anything. But I'm trying to arrange letters to form words and sentences in order to trick my brain into thinking I'm awake until the Coke Zero levels in my bloodstream get high enough to permit actual functioning.
So, as the wags at Boston Dirt Dogs call it, (bostondirtdogs.boston.com) it's Faux-pening Day. Tampa Bay Naughty Fish @ Boston, 4:06PM. Big Game James Shields against Josh Beckett. The 2009 season, for realz.
But, until we have actual balls and strikes and outs and stuff to bitch about, we can marinate in Yankee misery for a few more hours.
There's this, from the aforementioned Dirt Dogs, in reference to the Round Mound of Money, Mr. Carsten Charles Sabathia, his $161 million dollar contract and his dog's breakfast of an Opening Day start: " 'What a waste of hard earned money.'-Bernie Madoff "
Then there's the New York Daily News, with the following quote, Standard Issue After An Opening Day Loss, (http://bit.ly/AA8Cb) " 'I guess we can't go undefeated now,' Girardi said. 'You always want to get off to a good start, but it's where you are after 162 games, not one.' "
And he's right. This Yankee team is going to beat us at some point this year, probably more than once. And, probably more than once, we are going to be looking up at the wrong end of a Yankee score as they clear the bases after a key Posada double, and I will hope these words taste good, because I will be eating them.
But for now, you just feast your eyes on the carnage:
BAL 1-0
TOR 1-0
BOS 0-0
TBR 0-0
NYY 0-1
The last place New York Yankees. How about that?
On days when I work late, I have this choice to make. After dropping my complaining teen at school, I come back home at approximately 840 AM. Do I slip back under the warm, warm covers, turn on The West Wing, and reemerge at noon to dress and face the world? Or do I get up and try to be a grownup for once in this series of unfortunate events I call a life?
Obviously, I chose the latter. Sorta. I'm not, like, dressed or showered or anything. But I'm trying to arrange letters to form words and sentences in order to trick my brain into thinking I'm awake until the Coke Zero levels in my bloodstream get high enough to permit actual functioning.
So, as the wags at Boston Dirt Dogs call it, (bostondirtdogs.boston.com) it's Faux-pening Day. Tampa Bay Naughty Fish @ Boston, 4:06PM. Big Game James Shields against Josh Beckett. The 2009 season, for realz.
But, until we have actual balls and strikes and outs and stuff to bitch about, we can marinate in Yankee misery for a few more hours.
There's this, from the aforementioned Dirt Dogs, in reference to the Round Mound of Money, Mr. Carsten Charles Sabathia, his $161 million dollar contract and his dog's breakfast of an Opening Day start: " 'What a waste of hard earned money.'-Bernie Madoff "
Then there's the New York Daily News, with the following quote, Standard Issue After An Opening Day Loss, (http://bit.ly/AA8Cb) " 'I guess we can't go undefeated now,' Girardi said. 'You always want to get off to a good start, but it's where you are after 162 games, not one.' "
And he's right. This Yankee team is going to beat us at some point this year, probably more than once. And, probably more than once, we are going to be looking up at the wrong end of a Yankee score as they clear the bases after a key Posada double, and I will hope these words taste good, because I will be eating them.
But for now, you just feast your eyes on the carnage:
BAL 1-0
TOR 1-0
BOS 0-0
TBR 0-0
NYY 0-1
The last place New York Yankees. How about that?
Monday, April 06, 2009
Really weird....well, maybe not that weird. But still.
If you're a Jeopardy watcher, tune in tomorrow, if only for a minute. The current defending champion, I am told, bears a remarkable resemblence to...um....me. With more hair, and fewer pounds. But still, me.
Spooky.
I know, not that spooky. (I was told, back in the day, that I resembled actor Corey Haim a bit as well.) There are only so many ways to arrange your standard human features, so there is a fighting chance that any person has quite a few doppelgangers. But if it's so close even I can see it, then it is pretty darn close.
I wouldn't think that any just and fair universe would produce more than one of me. But what do I know?
Spooky.
I know, not that spooky. (I was told, back in the day, that I resembled actor Corey Haim a bit as well.) There are only so many ways to arrange your standard human features, so there is a fighting chance that any person has quite a few doppelgangers. But if it's so close even I can see it, then it is pretty darn close.
I wouldn't think that any just and fair universe would produce more than one of me. But what do I know?
Opening Dayus Interruptus
As my Dad so accurately pointed out, it rained and rained and rained some more in the Olde Towne, so Ye Olde Openinge Daye for the Olde Towne Teame has been postponed until tomorrowe at 4 of the clocke.
In other news, CC Sabathia of the Evil Empire couldn't find home plate in Baltimore with a map and a compass, leaving in the fifth trailing 6-1. But the Yankees have battled back, and now trail only 6-5 in the 8th.
In other other news, www.thebaseballchronicle.com is a new baseball magazine, available online today for the first time, and the premier issue contains an article by little old me.
In other news, CC Sabathia of the Evil Empire couldn't find home plate in Baltimore with a map and a compass, leaving in the fifth trailing 6-1. But the Yankees have battled back, and now trail only 6-5 in the 8th.
In other other news, www.thebaseballchronicle.com is a new baseball magazine, available online today for the first time, and the premier issue contains an article by little old me.
Sunday, April 05, 2009
The balloon goes up...
Tonight in Philadelphia, truly meaningful baseball action begins again as pitches are finally thrown in anger for the first time since October 2008.
Old friend Derek Lowe threw 8 2 hit innings, and Mike Gonzalez, shaken by his presence on my fantasy team, nearly blew a 4-0 lead, but the Braves held on to defeat the Phillies for a 4-1 win.
Nearly every game from now on counts in the standings. (they still play the Hall of Fame Game, but in season exhibitions are very rare these days)
The Boston Red Sox begin play, theoretically, tomorrow, but the forecast from the Boston area is poor-rain and wind all day tomorrow. So it would not be stunning if they have to move the game to Tuesday.
Longtime readers of this blog, both of you, will probably remember that I blogged in some form or another, a liveblog, or comment, or at least a brief summary, about every Red Sox regular season and postseason game during 2008. I plan to do that again this year. So for those of you that don't care about baseball, you benighted souls, you, I will try to label the posts somehow. If I don't, or if (more likely), I forget..sorry.
It's a free Internet.
Old friend Derek Lowe threw 8 2 hit innings, and Mike Gonzalez, shaken by his presence on my fantasy team, nearly blew a 4-0 lead, but the Braves held on to defeat the Phillies for a 4-1 win.
Nearly every game from now on counts in the standings. (they still play the Hall of Fame Game, but in season exhibitions are very rare these days)
The Boston Red Sox begin play, theoretically, tomorrow, but the forecast from the Boston area is poor-rain and wind all day tomorrow. So it would not be stunning if they have to move the game to Tuesday.
Longtime readers of this blog, both of you, will probably remember that I blogged in some form or another, a liveblog, or comment, or at least a brief summary, about every Red Sox regular season and postseason game during 2008. I plan to do that again this year. So for those of you that don't care about baseball, you benighted souls, you, I will try to label the posts somehow. If I don't, or if (more likely), I forget..sorry.
It's a free Internet.
The Bonfire of The Vanities
Just started reading this. Had to pay to renew my library card, for stupid political reasons I won't bore you with, and am now resuming my Star Trek fetish.
For some reason, I picked this up a couple of days ago, and finished it late last night. It had been long enough since the last time I read it that I had genuinely forgotten how it ended-so that made it an extra enjoyable read. Some of the images have stayed with me, of course-the attorneys biting their sandwiches and lunging forward to avoid dripping sandwich innards onto their ties, and the wonderful image of the hung over Peter Fallow with the toxic egg yolk of a headache dripping into his eye as he contemplates answering the ringing phone. Every time I get a headache like that, where you don't want to move your head, I think of Peter Fallow.
The passage that affected me most this time was the following:
"And in that moment Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later. For the first time he realized that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps, love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infintely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. And now that boy, that good actor, had grown old and fragile and tired, wearier than ever at the thought of trying to hoist the Protector's armor back onto his shoulders again, now, so far down the line."
That's an image that will stay with me, now. I have always felt unworthy of the armor, and goodness, it's heavy.
Saturday, April 04, 2009
One more day...
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it's a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again. "
Opening Day (well, Night) is tomorrow.
King Simon the Merciless, Year Three
Today was Simon's second birthday party, aka Kidapalooza, as relatives and friends came from far and wide to celebrate the end of Year Two of the Reign of King Simon the Merciless. Naps were deferred, by Royal Decree, Tickling was the Order Of The Day, and Sandwiches Were Had, and Cake was Duly Consumed By Those Present, as per the Orders of King Simon. Storybooks were read, Trains Were Conducted, and Joy and Happiness Was Upon The Face Of His Royal Subjects. That is All.
Friday, April 03, 2009
Amanda Bynes and Pedro Martinez
..would make a good pairing for Dancing with the Stars, actually.
This is Pedro Martinez:
and this is Amanda Bynes:
Amanda Bynes is 23 today. She has made a string of somewhat forgettable movies, but her first star turn that I was aware of was The Amanda Show, a sketch comedy half hour on Nickelodeon that was surprisingly watchable, for children's television. It made gentle fun of gangster movies, Judge Judy, spy movies-things like that- with a cleverness and a light touch that made it watchable for an adult. It's a little hard for me to imagine her as a grownup, since my most vivid memory of her is as a teen.
Pedro Martinez is my personal marker-born a week after me, I have watched him progress from fireballing star, to dominant veteran, to fading star trying to summon a glistening reflection of what he used to be. Similarly, I'm not 23 years old any more either. Seeing Pedro struggle reminds me of that. And so it goes.
See? I can relate anything to baseball.
More important than all that, today is my wife's birthday, my mother in law's birthday(who literally made it all possible,since she gave birth to my wife and Simon's mother), and most important of all, the second birthday of Lord Simon, the most important boy what ever was, my beloved and pampered nephew.
Happy birthday to everyone.
This is Pedro Martinez:
and this is Amanda Bynes:
Amanda Bynes is 23 today. She has made a string of somewhat forgettable movies, but her first star turn that I was aware of was The Amanda Show, a sketch comedy half hour on Nickelodeon that was surprisingly watchable, for children's television. It made gentle fun of gangster movies, Judge Judy, spy movies-things like that- with a cleverness and a light touch that made it watchable for an adult. It's a little hard for me to imagine her as a grownup, since my most vivid memory of her is as a teen.
Pedro Martinez is my personal marker-born a week after me, I have watched him progress from fireballing star, to dominant veteran, to fading star trying to summon a glistening reflection of what he used to be. Similarly, I'm not 23 years old any more either. Seeing Pedro struggle reminds me of that. And so it goes.
See? I can relate anything to baseball.
More important than all that, today is my wife's birthday, my mother in law's birthday(who literally made it all possible,since she gave birth to my wife and Simon's mother), and most important of all, the second birthday of Lord Simon, the most important boy what ever was, my beloved and pampered nephew.
Happy birthday to everyone.
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Happy Birthday, Obi-Wan.
The late Sir Alec Guinness, who was renowned on stage and screen throughout a long career, who wound up being best known for a role in a science fiction film. It would be his birthday today.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
The Miniature Earth
http://www.miniature-earth.com/me_english.htm
If we reduced the population of the Earth to 100 people, while keeping proportions the same as they are now:
47 would live in a city
33 would be Christian
6 would control 59% of the wealth
43 would live without basic sanitation
12 would have a computer
3 would have internet access
30 would have a bank account
18 would have less than $1 per day to live on.
Stunning.
If we reduced the population of the Earth to 100 people, while keeping proportions the same as they are now:
47 would live in a city
33 would be Christian
6 would control 59% of the wealth
43 would live without basic sanitation
12 would have a computer
3 would have internet access
30 would have a bank account
18 would have less than $1 per day to live on.
Stunning.
"Clear The Way For The Prophets of Rage"
http://bit.ly/nu9SX
British columnist Charlie Brooker, almost one month ago, about politicians and the public.
"They do what they want, these people[politicians], and you and I are cut out of the conversation. I'm sure they're dimly aware we still exist. They must spot us occasionally, through the window, jumping up and down in the cold with our funny placards...It's all over. The politicians have finally shut us out of their game for good and we have nowhere left to turn. We're not part of their world any more. We don't even speak the same language. We're the ants in their garden. The bacteria in their stools. They have nothing but contempt for us. They snivel and lie and duck questions on torture - on torture, for Christ's sake - while demanding we respect their authority."
http://bit.ly/3GvwAR
Dan Carlin, podcaster, former newsman and social gadfly, on why he won't vote for either of the two major political parties.
"The lesser of two evils is still evil."
It's hard to feel much hope these days.
No foolin'.
British columnist Charlie Brooker, almost one month ago, about politicians and the public.
"They do what they want, these people[politicians], and you and I are cut out of the conversation. I'm sure they're dimly aware we still exist. They must spot us occasionally, through the window, jumping up and down in the cold with our funny placards...It's all over. The politicians have finally shut us out of their game for good and we have nowhere left to turn. We're not part of their world any more. We don't even speak the same language. We're the ants in their garden. The bacteria in their stools. They have nothing but contempt for us. They snivel and lie and duck questions on torture - on torture, for Christ's sake - while demanding we respect their authority."
http://bit.ly/3GvwAR
Dan Carlin, podcaster, former newsman and social gadfly, on why he won't vote for either of the two major political parties.
"The lesser of two evils is still evil."
It's hard to feel much hope these days.
No foolin'.
So I don't forget(again)...2009 Baseball Predictions
AL EAST: Carmine Hose
AL CENTRAL: Royales With Cheese
AL WEST: Angles
AL WILD CARD: Naughty Fish
NL EAST: Metropolitans
NL CENTRAL: Baby Bears
NL WEST: Trolley Dodgers
NL WILD CARD: Cigars
NL CHAMPION: Baby Bears
AL CHAMPION: Carmine Hose
WORLD CHAMPION: Baby Bears.......because the apocalypse is coming, you know, so they might as well!
AL CENTRAL: Royales With Cheese
AL WEST: Angles
AL WILD CARD: Naughty Fish
NL EAST: Metropolitans
NL CENTRAL: Baby Bears
NL WEST: Trolley Dodgers
NL WILD CARD: Cigars
NL CHAMPION: Baby Bears
AL CHAMPION: Carmine Hose
WORLD CHAMPION: Baby Bears.......because the apocalypse is coming, you know, so they might as well!
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