Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Game Eighty Three: Back In The High Life Again
Josh Beckett pitched 6 2/3 innings, and the Okey Doke, Bat Masterson, and the Lord of the Dance locked down a 5-2 win over Oakland at Fenway tonight.
Monday, July 06, 2009
Game 82: TWO?
Oakland Athletics pitcher Brett Anderson was born in 1988.
1988. Nineteen eighty freakin eight. The boy read about Ronald Reagan in HISTORY BOOKS.
This young whippersnapper not only beat the Red Sox tonight, he shut them out on TWO hits. TWO. As in "the number that comes after one and before three." TWO. One hundred seventeen pitches, and two and one half hours, and "drive home safe, everyone."
John Smoltz continued to make Clay Buchholz' case for a promotion to the majors, getting drilled for five runs.
On the very limited plus side, former Sox star and current Athletic Nomar Garciaparra got a very nice hand from the Fenway crowd before his first at bat.
Other than that, it was a wasted day at the park.
1988. Nineteen eighty freakin eight. The boy read about Ronald Reagan in HISTORY BOOKS.
This young whippersnapper not only beat the Red Sox tonight, he shut them out on TWO hits. TWO. As in "the number that comes after one and before three." TWO. One hundred seventeen pitches, and two and one half hours, and "drive home safe, everyone."
John Smoltz continued to make Clay Buchholz' case for a promotion to the majors, getting drilled for five runs.
On the very limited plus side, former Sox star and current Athletic Nomar Garciaparra got a very nice hand from the Fenway crowd before his first at bat.
Other than that, it was a wasted day at the park.
A simple desultory phillipic
Robert McNamara is dead. An adviser under Presidents Kennedy and Johnson, McNamara was largely held responsible for the war in Vietnam. McNamara is notable to me because he is one of the rare public figures in recent times to try to apologize and admit that he was wrong. That's a rare thing, in politics and in life. It can't undo what he did, and what Vietnam did, but it's someplace to start, in any case.
A Simple Desultory Phillipic, by Simon and Garfunkel
"I been Norman Mailered, Maxwell Taylored.
I been John O'Hara'd, McNamara'd.
I been Rolling Stoned and Beatled till I'm blind.
I been Ayn Randed, nearly branded
Communist, 'cause I'm left-handed.
That's the hand I use, well, never mind!
I been Phil Spectored, resurrected.
I been Lou Adlered, Barry Sadlered.
Well, I paid all the dues I want to pay.
And I learned the truth from Lenny Bruce,
And all my wealth won't buy me health,
So I smoke a pint of tea a day.
I knew a man, his brain was so small,
He couldn't think of nothing at all.
He's not the same as you and me.
He doesn't dig poetry. He's so unhip that
When you say Dylan, he thinks you're talking about Dylan Thomas,
Whoever he was.
The man ain't got no culture,
But it's alright, ma,
Everybody must get stoned.
I been Mick Jaggered, silver daggered.
Andy Warhol, won't you please come home?
I been mothered, fathered, aunt and uncled,
Been Roy Haleed and Art Garfunkeled.
I just discovered somebody's tapped my phone.
I lost my harmonica, Albert."
A Simple Desultory Phillipic, by Simon and Garfunkel
"I been Norman Mailered, Maxwell Taylored.
I been John O'Hara'd, McNamara'd.
I been Rolling Stoned and Beatled till I'm blind.
I been Ayn Randed, nearly branded
Communist, 'cause I'm left-handed.
That's the hand I use, well, never mind!
I been Phil Spectored, resurrected.
I been Lou Adlered, Barry Sadlered.
Well, I paid all the dues I want to pay.
And I learned the truth from Lenny Bruce,
And all my wealth won't buy me health,
So I smoke a pint of tea a day.
I knew a man, his brain was so small,
He couldn't think of nothing at all.
He's not the same as you and me.
He doesn't dig poetry. He's so unhip that
When you say Dylan, he thinks you're talking about Dylan Thomas,
Whoever he was.
The man ain't got no culture,
But it's alright, ma,
Everybody must get stoned.
I been Mick Jaggered, silver daggered.
Andy Warhol, won't you please come home?
I been mothered, fathered, aunt and uncled,
Been Roy Haleed and Art Garfunkeled.
I just discovered somebody's tapped my phone.
I lost my harmonica, Albert."
Sunday, July 05, 2009
Game Eighty One: Ending The Streak
All losing streaks end. Eventually, someone steps up and says, we're not losing today. Either a pitcher throws up a platoon of goose eggs, or a hitter puts up a 4 for 5 with 2 homers, and the victory is claimed. No team has ever lost 81 games in a row, so we had to win at some point. Right? Right?
As we reach the literal halfway point of the season, Big Jon Lester took the hill. After 6 innings, he trailed 4-1, despite only allowing 1 earned run, and things seemed dangerously close to Lossville.
But our boys rose up, striking for five runs off of ancient Miguel Batista (who is 8 months older than ME, for Pete's sake) and young Mark Lowe (who, apropos of absolutely nothing, is diabetic) to give us an 8-4 lead and, eventually, a win.
Phew.
As we reach the literal halfway point of the season, Big Jon Lester took the hill. After 6 innings, he trailed 4-1, despite only allowing 1 earned run, and things seemed dangerously close to Lossville.
But our boys rose up, striking for five runs off of ancient Miguel Batista (who is 8 months older than ME, for Pete's sake) and young Mark Lowe (who, apropos of absolutely nothing, is diabetic) to give us an 8-4 lead and, eventually, a win.
Phew.
Saturday, July 04, 2009
Game Eighty: We Droppeth Two Of Three (Hopefully)
Today's Independence Day game against the Mariners was another gut punching loss, this time 3-2 in the regulation 9 frames. Those pesky Mariners, who are like Marines, except with an "R", fought back from a 2-0 deficit, then rallied in the top of the 9th. With Sensei Saito on the hill, Ken Griffey Jr. worked himself a walk. With one out, Ryan "Islets of" Langerhans walked as well, sending pinch runner Wladimir Balantien to second. Kenji Jojima also walked, loading the bases. Chris Woodward then knocked a weak little fly just beyond the drawn in infield for a single to score Balantien, who is so dumb he can't even spell his own name. Trailing 3-2, old friend David Aardsma, who is the first major leaguer, throughout history, alphabetically, worked a 1-2-3 inning for yet another loss.
Maybe you had to be there.
“Bill Moyers’ Journal” (pbs.org) was really good this week. A spirited, muscular defense of Christianity as an anti-poverty crusade instead of a hectoring, anti-fun nanny.
***
KCRW’s “Left Right and Center” (kcrw.org) was unusually contentious this week. They spent the entire half hour talking about the economy, and as per usual, Robert Scheer and Tony Blankley went at each other hammer and tongs.
Tony argues, as conservatives usually do, that further regulation of the financial system will make things worse and will drive business overseas. I’ve heard this argument before-when regulations have been proposed for clean air, clean water, campaign finance, meat inspections, minimum wages-anything, really. Which is not to say it’s always wrong to argue this-sometimes even Tony Blankley is right-but it is to say that I’m somewhat skeptical when I hear this argument. Mostly because I always hear this argument.
Robert says that it is the rampant deregulation during the 1990s that President Clinton signed that led to derivative markets being formed on air, with no underlying asset (or at least, not one that can be reliably priced and evaluated) that can back up the transaction. It is these unregulated derivatives which went on to become self aware, form SkyNet, and try to kill us all. Wait, I think that’s Terminator. Anyway, in an announcement that should surprise exactly noone, I tend towards Scheer’s point. Sure, derivatives are a useful way of hedging against risk that businesses use to ensure against all sorts of things. But to leave them completely uncontrolled, to require no hold on reality, is a recipe for disaster. Just ask an AIG shareholder.
***
I saw someone with a Foghat shirt today. Foghat? I have some odd musical tastes, but Foghat? Seriously?
***
It is July 4, Independence Day. 233 years since a collection of rogues, smugglers, geniuses, and slaveowners agreed that it was time to declare that they were free, independent from Great Britain. As long as you were white. And male. And owned land. Rather than get all dewy about America, or angry about the contradictions inherent in slaveowners talking about freedom, I prefer to remember the gall-the pride, and fear, and confidence it took to declare that you were unilaterally dissolving your ties with the greatest military power in the world, come what may. As Franklin so wisely said, they would assuredly hang if the revolution failed-but they went ahead and did it anyway.
I hope we are living up to the example they set.
***
SON: So if July 4 is about freedom, why do you have to work?
ME: My boss also has the freedom to not pay me if I don’t show up.
***
According to Linda Cohn on Facebook, former NFL player Steve McNair was shot and killed today. Shocking.
***
Another way my wife is funnier than you-today, she and I composed the following scene while watching a 1985 White Sox being replayed on the MLB Network.
(This is funnier when read aloud.)
CARLTON FISK, White Sox catcher: I hate playing left field. I want to play catcher. When you write my name, I want you to write C, 'kay?
TONY LARUSSA, White Sox manager: You want me to write CK?
FISK: No, C!
LARUSSA: See what?
FISK: No, C!
LARUSSA: See what?
FISK: No, I want you to write, Fisk, C, 'kay? C!
LARUSSA: KC? But we play for Chicago!
(Fisk stalks away.)
(And...scene.)
Maybe you had to be there.
***
KCRW’s “Left Right and Center” (kcrw.org) was unusually contentious this week. They spent the entire half hour talking about the economy, and as per usual, Robert Scheer and Tony Blankley went at each other hammer and tongs.
Tony argues, as conservatives usually do, that further regulation of the financial system will make things worse and will drive business overseas. I’ve heard this argument before-when regulations have been proposed for clean air, clean water, campaign finance, meat inspections, minimum wages-anything, really. Which is not to say it’s always wrong to argue this-sometimes even Tony Blankley is right-but it is to say that I’m somewhat skeptical when I hear this argument. Mostly because I always hear this argument.
Robert says that it is the rampant deregulation during the 1990s that President Clinton signed that led to derivative markets being formed on air, with no underlying asset (or at least, not one that can be reliably priced and evaluated) that can back up the transaction. It is these unregulated derivatives which went on to become self aware, form SkyNet, and try to kill us all. Wait, I think that’s Terminator. Anyway, in an announcement that should surprise exactly noone, I tend towards Scheer’s point. Sure, derivatives are a useful way of hedging against risk that businesses use to ensure against all sorts of things. But to leave them completely uncontrolled, to require no hold on reality, is a recipe for disaster. Just ask an AIG shareholder.
***
I saw someone with a Foghat shirt today. Foghat? I have some odd musical tastes, but Foghat? Seriously?
***
It is July 4, Independence Day. 233 years since a collection of rogues, smugglers, geniuses, and slaveowners agreed that it was time to declare that they were free, independent from Great Britain. As long as you were white. And male. And owned land. Rather than get all dewy about America, or angry about the contradictions inherent in slaveowners talking about freedom, I prefer to remember the gall-the pride, and fear, and confidence it took to declare that you were unilaterally dissolving your ties with the greatest military power in the world, come what may. As Franklin so wisely said, they would assuredly hang if the revolution failed-but they went ahead and did it anyway.
I hope we are living up to the example they set.
***
SON: So if July 4 is about freedom, why do you have to work?
ME: My boss also has the freedom to not pay me if I don’t show up.
***
According to Linda Cohn on Facebook, former NFL player Steve McNair was shot and killed today. Shocking.
***
Another way my wife is funnier than you-today, she and I composed the following scene while watching a 1985 White Sox being replayed on the MLB Network.
(This is funnier when read aloud.)
CARLTON FISK, White Sox catcher: I hate playing left field. I want to play catcher. When you write my name, I want you to write C, 'kay?
TONY LARUSSA, White Sox manager: You want me to write CK?
FISK: No, C!
LARUSSA: See what?
FISK: No, C!
LARUSSA: See what?
FISK: No, I want you to write, Fisk, C, 'kay? C!
LARUSSA: KC? But we play for Chicago!
(Fisk stalks away.)
(And...scene.)
Maybe you had to be there.
Friday, July 03, 2009
Game Seventy Nine: A Friday Full of Fail
After trailing King Felix Hernandez and Seattle most of the evening at Fenway Park tonight, Boston tied the score in the 8th with a double from the Infielder without Portfolio, Nick Green. However, New Guy RR did a very un-RR thing, giving up two runs in the 11th. When Boston could only get one back, today's voyage on the Failboat goes into the books as a 7-6 loss.
Thursday, July 02, 2009
Ten Things You Need To Know
10. I'm a fighter, I'm a poet, I'm a preacher.
9. If you sneeze, and your back hurts, you're out of shape.
8. If the lights aren't on yet, they're not open.
7. Yes, you're in the way.
6. If you buy more than one fantasy football magazine, you've got a problem.
5. If the pretty girl at the grocery store is flirting with your son, and not you, you're old.
4. If a holiday happens to fall on a Saturday, you don't get to start celebrating on Wednesday.
3. There ain't no doctor that can cure my disease.
2. It's not too late. It might be too early, though.
1. It's never a bad idea to stay back and hope they hit into a double play.
9. If you sneeze, and your back hurts, you're out of shape.
8. If the lights aren't on yet, they're not open.
7. Yes, you're in the way.
6. If you buy more than one fantasy football magazine, you've got a problem.
5. If the pretty girl at the grocery store is flirting with your son, and not you, you're old.
4. If a holiday happens to fall on a Saturday, you don't get to start celebrating on Wednesday.
3. There ain't no doctor that can cure my disease.
2. It's not too late. It might be too early, though.
1. It's never a bad idea to stay back and hope they hit into a double play.
The Red Sox are off, so let's talk about poop.
My darling sister in law, who is as cool as stfthe other side of the pillow, posted a link to the following site:
stfuparents.tumblr.com
For those of you who are acronym impaired, the name of the site suggests that those of us who have spawned cease commenting.
I'm of two minds about this. (Longtime readers no doubt think I am of two minds about almost everything.)
On the one hand, there are few things more obnoxious and self absorbed than a first time parent. When it is happening to you, it is all encompassing and unusual and miraculous, and you don't long consider the fact that human beings have been doing what you are doing, well, since there have been human beings.
On the other hand, what you're doing is terribly hard and somewhat important.
I guess I object to snarky putdowns of new parents by the uninitiated.
You'll get yours, though.
stfuparents.tumblr.com
For those of you who are acronym impaired, the name of the site suggests that those of us who have spawned cease commenting.
I'm of two minds about this. (Longtime readers no doubt think I am of two minds about almost everything.)
On the one hand, there are few things more obnoxious and self absorbed than a first time parent. When it is happening to you, it is all encompassing and unusual and miraculous, and you don't long consider the fact that human beings have been doing what you are doing, well, since there have been human beings.
On the other hand, what you're doing is terribly hard and somewhat important.
I guess I object to snarky putdowns of new parents by the uninitiated.
You'll get yours, though.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Thanks to Elle for the following.
(No, not the magazine.)
(See, the blog is called "That's What Je Said". Je is the first person singular pronoun in French. See, if I am referring to her, I need to use third person singular.)
(Oh, never mind.)
Thanks to elle for the following meme theme thing:
I CAN'T
root for the New York Yankees
seem to lose any weight
imagine why people watch reality television
I CAN
tell you way too much about things you don't care about
answer a lot of questions on Jeopardy
yearn for a life I did not live
I WON'T
compromise my principles
sing karaoke
speak in public again
I WILL
be up too late tonight
regret that decision tomorrow morning
eat too many slices of pizza with dinner
I SHOULDN'T
eat too many slices of pizza with dinner
buy the portable email device I have my eye on
worry about things I cannot control
I SHOULD
call my parents more often
visit my parents more often
get more exercise
(See, the blog is called "That's What Je Said". Je is the first person singular pronoun in French. See, if I am referring to her, I need to use third person singular.)
(Oh, never mind.)
Thanks to elle for the following meme theme thing:
I CAN'T
root for the New York Yankees
seem to lose any weight
imagine why people watch reality television
I CAN
tell you way too much about things you don't care about
answer a lot of questions on Jeopardy
yearn for a life I did not live
I WON'T
compromise my principles
sing karaoke
speak in public again
I WILL
be up too late tonight
regret that decision tomorrow morning
eat too many slices of pizza with dinner
I SHOULDN'T
eat too many slices of pizza with dinner
buy the portable email device I have my eye on
worry about things I cannot control
I SHOULD
call my parents more often
visit my parents more often
get more exercise
The Typing Makes Her Sound Busy
If you are considering going to an amusement park, or if you can read English, please visit thetypingmakesmesoundbusy.com to read Jelisa Castrodale's delightful takes on life, love, and being naked on mini golf courses.
Game 78: All Jail The Julio!
After yesterday's utter disaster, the Red Sox fell behind early, trailing the Orioles 5-1 before tying the game with four runs in the ninth, Our Man Youk coming up with a two run shot and Rhode Island's own Rocco Baldelli knocking a pinch two run single to tie the score. Then, it was none other than the much maligned Julio Lugo who knocked in Jacoby with the lead run in the 11th. The Lord of The Dance nailed it down, and that was it-win #48 is in the books.
Bill Simmons And Chuck Klosterman
http://sports.espn.go.com/espnradio/podcast/archive?id=2864045
Two of my fave raves, Bill Simmons and Chuck Klostermann, engage in a very entertaining 90 minute or so discussion of things pop cultural and not at the above link. (Just click on the title.) (I've only listened to part one of two thus far.)
Simmons is the Sports Guy, but the talk can drift pretty far afield. They are two pretty decent thinkers, and they often point out things I hadn't considered before.
Among the other topics they go over was Mr. Jackson's recent demise, and besides making the observation that Americans seem utterly willing to give Michael a mulligan for about 1989-2009, they also note the following-it has been repeatedly said that Jackson's music was era defining and world changing. Clearly, that's true-when the history of music in the 20th century is written, Michael Jackson gets a slice.
But we weren't saying this two weeks ago. Nobody was talking about how "Thriller" changed their lives (at least, not this much) two weeks ago. (Simmons actually did, once-he wrote in a column several months ago that it was becoming hard to explain to people who didnt live through the 1980s how huge a star Jackson was, given the traveling freak show his life had become.) Can we really say something changed our lives now, when two weeks ago, we hardly gave it a second thought? How much of Michael Jackson related grief is genuine sorrow, and how much is "everybody feels bad, so I do too"?
Two of my fave raves, Bill Simmons and Chuck Klostermann, engage in a very entertaining 90 minute or so discussion of things pop cultural and not at the above link. (Just click on the title.) (I've only listened to part one of two thus far.)
Simmons is the Sports Guy, but the talk can drift pretty far afield. They are two pretty decent thinkers, and they often point out things I hadn't considered before.
Among the other topics they go over was Mr. Jackson's recent demise, and besides making the observation that Americans seem utterly willing to give Michael a mulligan for about 1989-2009, they also note the following-it has been repeatedly said that Jackson's music was era defining and world changing. Clearly, that's true-when the history of music in the 20th century is written, Michael Jackson gets a slice.
But we weren't saying this two weeks ago. Nobody was talking about how "Thriller" changed their lives (at least, not this much) two weeks ago. (Simmons actually did, once-he wrote in a column several months ago that it was becoming hard to explain to people who didnt live through the 1980s how huge a star Jackson was, given the traveling freak show his life had become.) Can we really say something changed our lives now, when two weeks ago, we hardly gave it a second thought? How much of Michael Jackson related grief is genuine sorrow, and how much is "everybody feels bad, so I do too"?
Game 77: Tempting Fate
Pride goeth before the fall indeed.
After constructing a 9-1 lead, and sitting through a rain delay, Boston's vaunted bullpen apparently mistook themselves for the Mets' bullpen, undergoing a complete implosion. They allowed 5 runs in the seventh and 5 more in the 8th to give Baltimore a shocking 11-10 advantage, which George Sherrill managed to hang on to for a gut punch loss.
The blame pie has plenty of slices tonight, Bat Masterson taking one, along with Sensei Saito, the Okey Doke, MDC, and even the Lord of the Dance.
Sigh.
Teach me to mock the mighty Orioles.
After constructing a 9-1 lead, and sitting through a rain delay, Boston's vaunted bullpen apparently mistook themselves for the Mets' bullpen, undergoing a complete implosion. They allowed 5 runs in the seventh and 5 more in the 8th to give Baltimore a shocking 11-10 advantage, which George Sherrill managed to hang on to for a gut punch loss.
The blame pie has plenty of slices tonight, Bat Masterson taking one, along with Sensei Saito, the Okey Doke, MDC, and even the Lord of the Dance.
Sigh.
Teach me to mock the mighty Orioles.
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