OK, enough.

I could go on and on about Sarah Palin. I have spent part of my morning reading about her, and frankly, I can't stand it anymore.

John McCain has held George Bush's hand while he drove America into a ditch-financially, spiritually, morally, ethically, physically, and mentally. That is the first, last, and only reason I am voting against him.

Sarah Palin is a creationist? Seriously?

http://blog.wired.com/wiredscience/2008/08/mccains-vp-want.html

Palin? Really?

Five Republican (or Republican Leaning) Women More Qualified to Be Vice President Than Sarah Palin:

1. Meg Whitman
2. Carly Fiorina
3. Elizabeth Dole
4. Christine Todd Whitman
5. Kay Bailey Hutchinson

Shudder To Think...

According to BP's Will Carroll, Josh Beckett is heading to see renowned sports physician Dr. James Andrews.

If your blood just ran cold, that's because he's the guy who winds up doing a lot of Tommy John surgeries, and that should scare the heck out of any Red Sox fan.

Hopefully, it's nothing.


Hopefully.

Attack of the Hairy Rosanna (Game 134)

This thumb drive has been through at least two laundry cycles, and yet the data still remains. Any errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling, are entirely my own, and not the result of getting Clorox in between the ones and zeroes.

I love technology.

Note to self: Remove drive from pants before going to sleep tonight, dummy.

Something interesting, believe it or not, has been happening on this blog. Someone, or something, named Rose, has obtained a google account and has begun commenting on a number of posts. The comments are, shall we say, odd-not entirely coherent. I thought that the whole comment verification thingy was supposed to prevent bots from leaving comments, but I would not be surprised if those crafty botmasters have found a way around that.

So, Rose, if you are a real person who finds my mixture of socialist rambling, useless whining, and constant Red Sox chatter interesting, you and your obviously vague grasp of English are welcome here. I can think of several hundred blogs that you would be better off reading instead of mine, but, like I said-I’ll take all the readers I can get. However, if you are, in fact, looking for Hairy Rosanna, that’s not here-that’s Throwaway.

And, Rose, if you are, in fact, a bot, I guess you’re welcome here, too. I don’t discriminate against digital forms of life.

Like many adults, I do have parts of my body that I would like to change the shape of, but, no, I would not like to give you my credit card number so you can send me herbal capsules full of moss and purified rainwater. I do have the need to make $5000 a month working part time, but I will not give you my credit card number so you can explain to me how I can get rich investing in real estate or selling fruit juice door to door. I do like to look at naked women, but the naked woman who shares my bed kind of prefers that I restrict my viewing of nakedness to hers, so I will not give you my credit card so that you can give me passwords to dozens of red hot porn sites. So thanks, but no thanks, Rose-whatever you’re selling, I’m not interested.

I dropped $250 or so on new brakes today, so I’m feeling a little lighter in the wallet, but while I was waiting and listening to old episodes of “Never Not Funny” and trying to ignore “Regis And Kelly”, “Rachael Ray”, and “The View”, ABC broke in with the news that McCain’s VP pick is somewhat of a dark horse, the woman from Alaska, Sarah Palin. I have not had a chance to read anything in depth about her yet, though I am sure there will be gallons of text to read by the time I get home tonight.

I was not interested enough to stop listening to Never Not Funny, at least not interested enough to listen to Charlie Gibson and George Stephanopoulos talk about her, because I am convinced at least half of what they said would be either unfair, out of context, wrong, or all three. I do know that, similar to New Jersey, it seems that everyone in Alaskan state government, including the person who empties the trash at the end of the day, is hopelessly corrupt. I think I also read somewhere that she has a passel of kids-like enough to fill out a basketball team. This tells me a couple of things-she’s fertile, for one thing, and she’s more emotionally stable and organized than me, for another.

I’m pretty confident I will not learn anything about Sarah Palin that will cause me to vote for McCain. However charming and lovely a person she may be, I don’t think she will overcome the grave disagreements I have with John McCain’s policy positions. My son, who is a tween, asked me recently why I support Obama. I told him that, among other things, that I think a John McCain presidency dramatically increases the likelihood that he will be exposed to a military draft and forced to fight and die in a foreign land.

According to my phone, which still doesn’t believe in the Internet, Josh Beckett is going onto the DL, as is Sean Casey. Obviously, the Beckett loss is greater. If we can get a healthy, rested Becks back for the postseason, so much the better. It will be harder to win without him, because although he isn’t himself this year, there is a bit of an intimidation factor going on because of his 2007 greatness. I think we can win without him, but it won’t be any easier.

In Boston, Dice K shut out the White Sox 8-0. A Tampa win leaves the division lead at 4 1/2 for the Rays, and if Minnesota can hang on to a 8-2 lead, the wild card lead for Boston will remain at 2 1/2 games.

Sudden Impact

I just had a thought. The Big Three automakers are telling us that it is going to take them 10 years or so to retool their factories to make more fuel efficient cars. If they started doing that when environmentalists were telling them they should do this during the mid 1990s, they’d be done by now.

Of course, the argument was always “that’s not what the market demands.” First of all, if it really takes you 10 years to retool your factories, shouldn’t you be thinking about what the market WILL demand, at least a little bit? And second of all, you don’t have any idea what the market really demands. I think Honda managed to sell a Civic or two during the mid 1990s.

You’ll hear that same argument about TV news-they always say they broadcast garbage because that’s what people want. (For example, at this time tomorrow my local TV affiliate will be “covering” Labor Day Weekend. Labor Day Weekend is not a news event. It’s a weekend. I don’t think they have any idea what people want. I think they could make serious news engaging, if they really tried.

According to my phone, which hasn’t lied to me yet, the Red Sox lost to the Yankees this afternoon, 3-2, scoring in the bottom of the ninth to win it. However, because my phone makes up for its truthfulness by a seeming Internetophobia, I don’t know anything more than that. I press the button on my phone for the Internet, and my phone hems, and haws, and mumbles, then gives me the electronic version of “what’s an Internet?”

This is not horribly tragic, I guess-every win is crucial to keep away from the dogs nipping at our collective heels-but a 2 out of 3 to finish off our Yankee Stadium play feels pretty good. I think this also shows us that Jon Lester is still sharp. The road gets no easier, as we go home to face the White Stockings tomorrow.

Further Good News Pours In...

On Mythbusters, it turns out we did go to the moon after all.

In Yankee Stadium, the Red Sox are putting all kinds of hurt on the Yanks, a 7 run 8th including a GRAND SALAMI from our man DP putting Boston into a 11-2 advantage.

And on HBO, Hard Knocks is just starting.

While watching HK, Boston holds on for an 11-3 win. It got so far out of hand, they let Mike Timlin pitch!

The Mark Kotsay Era Begins

OF Mark Kotsay, 32, who has recovered from being a waste of otherwise useful carbon atoms last season to bat 289/340/418 this year, was traded to the Red Sox for single A outfielder Luis Sumoza. I suppose he'll serve as a pseudo Drew, while the real JD is rehabbing his most recent encounter with his old friend DL.

In the final Red Sox in the Stadium series in the history of ever, Boston got six adequate innings from Paul Byrd, and then took advantage of another Yankee starter not escaping the fifth (Sidney Ponson, who I guess disappointed me because he didn't look how I thought he did) to take a 4-2 lead into the bottom of the seventh.

So Now We Have A President...

...If We Can Elect Him.

In the same sort of anticlimax involved in a team that is 13 games in front finally clinching the division, Barack Obama is now officially the nominee of the Democratic Party for President of the United States.

I don't know why you could possibly believe that the current band of malcontented power mad lunatics deserve four more years to bring America closer and closer to the abyss of irrelevance.

"The real power in America is held by a fast emerging new oligarchy of pimps and preachers who see no need for Democracy or fairness or even trees, except maybe the ones in their own yards, and they dont mind admitting it. They worship money and power and death. Their ideal solution to all the nation's problems would be another 100 year war."

-Hunter S. Thompson

Game 131-The Battle of Evermore

In the Boogie Down, New Jack City, Gotham, the Center of the Universe, the Boston Red Sox chased Andy Pettite and stormed to a 7-3 win. Tim Wakefield, fresh off of the DL, pitched 5 shaky innings, allowing 8 hits but only allowing 3 runs, while the bullpen picks him up, throwing four innings of two hit, no run ball.

Every starter had a hit except DP, and the team got RBIs from Ellsbury, Youkilis, Bay, Crisp, and recent Pawtucket callup Jeff Bailey. (Apparently Sean Casey, along with Mike Lowell, is laid up with injuries.)

Childhood Banking Situations

“Childhood Banking Situations”. Ever have a phrase that seems to mean something, really doesn’t mean anything, but cracks you up nonetheless? Listening to Jimmy Pardo’s “Never Not Funny Season One”, the collected first season of his podcast (www.pardcast.com), one of the episodes began with this phrase, for reasons I don’t recall. But it cracked me up, and I still can’t say it without giggling.

Top Five Nonsense Phrases:

1.Aggressive Banana Divestiture
2.Wayward Scenic Propensities
3.Long Photographic Sucrose
4.Global Firework Architecture
5.Thermal Removal Security

Pardo’s podcast is available on ITunes, but it has gone to a subscription model. You can get the first 20 minutes for free, but to get the whole thing (about 90 minutes once a week) you need to pay $6.99 per month. The show consists of Pardo, his producer Matt, and one other comedian. The show is adult-there isn’t a chorus of profanity, but an occasional F bomb is dropped, and an occasional R rated story is told. But it is consistently amusing, occasionally hysterical, and well worth the money, to my mind. For $19.99, they will sell you the first 60 episodes as a download. I’ve been listening through them, and I’m currently up to Episode 20. They are very, very funny.

The brilliance of the show is that it really has no theme or purpose-just three and sometimes four people getting together and talking. It sounds dull, of course, but it is impossible to describe. There is tons of ribbing and teasing, and the punning and wordplay is constant-sharp, very bright standup comics riffing on each other. Plenty of 1980s music and television references are made, and somehow each episode flies by and leaves you wanting more. Very highly recommended.

According to my phone, which seldom lies to me, MLB has agreed to begin instant replay on home run calls. I am against it, and not because it will delay the game, although it probably will. I believe all sports are played by humans, and should be officiated by humans, period.

Now, my team has been screwed by bad calls by officials. (See ALCS, 1999.) Yes, it is important that we get the calls right, true. However, I firmly believe that this is part of the mystery of sport-sometimes you get the call, and sometimes you don’t. I don’t think we should use technology to alter this balance.

Adam Curry’s Daily Source Code 785 featured a powerful, moving sound file recorded by two Marines overseas that he morphed into Rage Against The Machine’s “Killing In The Name Of…” in a brilliant way. Powerful radio moment that no radio station would have the guts to broadcast in a hundred years. (Note to self: Add drop.io/dailysourcecode to the blogroll) (Also note to self: Tell Adam how perfectly that worked.)

Interesting how that song (“Killing…”) still holds up, probably ten years after the band broke up. Maybe it’s just Adam and I being almost the same age, but I can’t think of a better song for the place where he put it. Interesting also how a song whose refrain is “F^&k you, I wont do what you tell me/F^&k you, I wont do what you tell me,” still gives me chills at an age when I, frankly, do what they tell me. Repeatedly. Constantly.

Caller on NPR’s Talk of the Nation, referring to Guantanamo detainees: “regardless of whether or not we think they are bad guys, they are still human beings.” Exactly. If I had to sum up my views on the entire issue in one sentence, that’s it. They are human fucking beings. To treat someone otherwise as a matter of official or unofficial policy is monstrous beyond belief.

Oh, Grow Up.

Really? Hallmark is removing same sex greeting cards?

Way to rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic, guys.

Sure Fire Winner

With Boston one game in front in the Wild Card Chase (TM), the Red Sox are off today. The White Sox, who lead the Central, are currently involved in a suspended game with the Orioles, who used to be the St. Louis Browns. Minnesota, who trails the Wild Card by one, is in Seattle.

The Red Sox head into the Den of Iniquity, Yankee Bleeping Stadium, for three games with the Yankees starting tomorrow, and then home to face Chicago. Beckett, reportedly, is going to pitch against the White Sox Friday, though obviously that depends on his arm tingliness problem.

From the inimitable Aaron Gleeman, file under "Gee Golly"...

YEAR IP ERA
Dennis Eckersley 1990 73.1 0.61
Jonathan Papelbon 2007 68.1 0.92
Chris Hammond 2002 76.0 0.95
Joe Nathan 2008 55.0 0.98


These are all the pitchers who posted an ERA under 0.99 with more than 55 innings pitched in a season.

Wow.

Very interesting.

http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/8/22/185748/561/211/572354



Very interesting piece about hate and stereotypes.

Farmer Jed Rides Again/The Slow Torture of Gamecast

Handed a 4-2 advantage, the Dice Man promptly gave it right back to the Jays at the Rogers Centre today , giving up 1 in the fourth and then 2 in the sixth for a 5-4 deficit. Coco Crisp (?) (!) homered to tie in the seventh, and then Farmer Jed Lowrie manned up and clouted a homer to right to give Boston a 6-5 lead in the 11th. Now Metropolitan District Commission is on to try and save it, Boston having already spent their Papelbullet.

MDC walked Wells to open the inning, but has retired Lind and Overbay, so we're one out away from a desperately needed win.

In the mixed blessing department, Tampa is tied with Chicago in the fifth, and in the unmixed blessing department, Minnesota leads the Angles in the fifth .

MDC retired former Pirate and current Guy With a Pitcher's Name Jose Bautista on a swinging strikeout to end it, so we can, as they say, put it on the board. Yes.

Watching games via Gamecast is torturously slow-like watching really important paint dry.

If you told me in April that a crucial August game was going to unfold with a left side of the infield of Lowrie and Alex Cora, and an outfield of Crisp, Ellsbury, and Jason Bay, I would have told you to lie down because you obviously aren't well.

Dice K obviously gets a well deserved no decision here, and thus his record of the highest winning percentage in one season in Red Sox history of a pitcher with 15 or more decisions remains tied with Bob Stanley(1978), at 15-2 (.882). With his next win, he will own the record, assuming he doesn't lose again.

Of course, anything associated with 1978 gives chills to any Red Sox fan.