Wicked! It's Wednesday! Except it's not!

Miss Janera the time traveler is checking in from Wednesday with her Wednesday Wickedness, this time from comedian and talk show host Ellen DeGeneres.






1. "I was coming home from kindergarten--well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves." How old were you when you started working and what was your first job?


Gosh. 13, I think? The first job I can recall is packing poly bags of flyers for our local newspaper company. I don't think it was legal.

2. "My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is." Tell us about your grandparents.


I only have one left, and she's in failing health.

3. "Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution. So procrastinate now, don't put it off." Do you procrastinate or are you on top of the situations?


I'm going to answer that one later.

(HA! See what I did there? That's comedy.)

I am a big time procrastinator.

4. "Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others." What would others say about you?


Dude needs to have a salad once in a damn while.


5. "The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble" Do you believe in life on other planets?

Yes, from a mathematical perspective. There are so MANY stars and planets, it seems impossible there isn't more life out there. I like the theory that they are out there, but they are more advanced, and they are just ignoring us.

6. "I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that." Do you have a godchild?


No.

7. "I don't understand the sizes anymore. There's a size zero, which I didn't even know that they had. It must stand for: 'Ohhh my God, you're thin.'" When was the last time that you were called too thin?


Still waiting for the first time.

8. "I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me - they're just, like, 'I can't believe you don't remember me!" I'm like, 'Oh Dad I'm sorry!'" Who was the last person that you should have recognized but didn't?


This happens to me at work all the time.

9. "I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It's been about two months since I've worked out. And I just don't have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words." Do you work out? Have you ever joined a gym and quit almost immediately?

I try to. I don't go to a gym. I was a member of the Y for a while, but I never went, so I quit.

10. 'We use 10 percent of our brains. Imagine how much we could accomplish if we used the other 60 percent." Do you feel that you utilize all your intelligence in every situation?




Sadly, yes.